


Embrace Nothing

by Hang Him Higher (morbiditty)



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: I'm too lazy to go through the whole story and tag everything :P, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Threesome - M/M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-31
Updated: 2011-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-12 09:17:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1184511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/morbiditty/pseuds/Hang%20Him%20Higher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Muichimotsu at its finest. Sanzo has a hard time acknowledging hidden urges.</p><p>Originally posted on FF.net.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Embrace Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place between Saiyuki and Saiyuki Reload. Manga universe.
> 
> This was written awhile ago, originally in 2009 or so, and officially published in 2011. Sorry for the quality.

Sanzo inhaled his cigarette more roughly than usual. He breathed out just as roughly, stirring the smoky air in the small hotel room. If Hakkai saw him now, there would be hell to pay, he knew. There was a no-smoking policy in the hotel—and a fee if that was broken, not to mention a distraught Hakkai. But Sanzo didn't care, he needed a goddamn cigarette.

That  _fucking_  kappa had done it again. Oh so casual, just one arm draped languidly on his shoulders with a lazy, witty remark. He'd managed to endure Gojyo doing this occasionally for three years, but it was still annoying. That pervert _insinuating_  and  _bragging_  and  _insisting on invading his personal space_ … It was bad enough he was surrounded by morons everywhere he went. He hated perverts.

He sat alone in a hotel room with two small beds, waiting for the imminent youkai attack or a drunk Gojyo finally coming back, whichever came first. He'd fucking KILL Gojyo for staying out this late. Sanzo couldn't sleep knowing he would waltz in here smelling of booze and some sleazy woman. Most nights it was just booze, but he'd seen the waitress meet Gojyo's eyes, seen them talking as he stomped upstairs. Every time it made him want to kill someone. _That fucking bastard._

Sanzo had insisted on sharing with Gojyo because he knew he'd be out late, and the others had bought the excuse that he'd wanted to be alone for that amount of time. So here he was, feeling like an angsty teenage girl with a one-sided crush. In disgust, Sanzo mercilessly crushed his cigarette in the ashtray. It was so late at night that it was almost morning, and still Gojyo wasn't here. Sanzo allowed himself one brief moment of worry before he shook his head and flopped back onto his bed. His third attempt to fall asleep failed miserably. He lay there for what felt like forever. Right when his exhaustion was finally catching up to him, he heard the doorknob rattle.

He squeezed his eyes shut and willed it to stop; fucking, stupid, pervert, drunk-off-his-ass Gojyo! Just when he was about to get up and get the door himself, he heard the door opening and Gojyo, who was mumbling half-hearted curses to himself, stumbled in. He closed the door none-too-gently, making a loud slam sound, and went suddenly still. Sanzo, who was pretending to be asleep, could imagine the stupid look on his face. When Sanzo didn't move, Gojyo resumed going for the bed. He could follow Gojyo's movements around the room by sound: the other man struggled with his shoes, then presumably his shirt, and then the covers, before finally settling down.

Sanzo sighed lightly to himself. Idiot.

Suddenly he was awakened by some sort of instinctual sense for danger. He didn't remember getting his gun from under his pillow or pointing it at the figure over his bed, but it only took one look to see it was a youkai. He blew the guy away, splattering blood with a loud pop of the gun. "Tch," he said to the other youkai. "Better luck next time, dumbasses. Thought you could sneak up on us while we slept?" He went on to shoot another youkai, before the rest of them turned hide and ran. Cursing, Sanzo threw the covers back and slid off the bed. He looked over at Gojyo's side of the room and couldn't believe his eyes.

The fucking kappa was still sleeping!

He walked over and hit the bastard in the head with his gun. Gojyo awoke with a mix between a snort and a pained grunt. He blearily looked up at Sanzo and rubbed his head. "What the hell... Sanzo..." he said, without his usual indignation.

"Youkai, you fucking idiot. Get the hell up!"

Gojyo groaned, but got up nonetheless. "What, this time of night?" he slurred, obviously still drunk despite the sleep he'd had. Sanzo looked out of the window and gauged the time; maybe an hour, at most, had passed since he'd fallen asleep. That made him feel even crankier.

He wheeled on Gojyo and shouted, "You, Gojyo, are a fucking pain in my ass! Not only did you not lock the door, but you're drunk off your ass during an attack!" Sanzo sniffed lightly. "And you smell like a whore." He shook with rage as he raised his arm like he was going to pistol whip the kappa again, but he just stood there, shaking. Gojyo cowered and stared at him with wide eyes. Sanzo cursed under his breath and stormed out of the room, not even caring if Gojyo followed or not. He wanted to shoot something, and NOW.

Hakkai and Goku had come out of their room and were waiting in the hall when Sanzo emerged. They exchanged glances when they saw the stage of anger Sanzo was in, and followed wordlessly. The cowardly youkai who had attacked them made the chase longer than it should have been. The whole trio behind stayed out of Sanzo's way and just watched in amazement as Sanzo actually kicked ass for once, by himself. Usually he couldn't be bothered.

They stayed silent until they were back at the inn. The youkai hadn't attacked anyone else in town, and the hostess was waiting for them. She welcomed them back with a shaking voice. Sanzo ignored this fact and just demanded to change rooms. After Sanzo exchanged keys, he could hear Hakkai stay behind and apologize and explain what had happened.

As they were trekking back upstairs, a deep voice from right behind him said, "Oi… Sanzo…"

Sanzo whirled around, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He immediately snapped his shoulder up, breaking the grip. Yet a tingling sensation remained: the half-water sprite's chi. "What?" he snarled at the taller man behind him. Gojyo's red eyes were still glazed with alcohol, and he swore if that pervert said anything even remotely like innuendo he'd shoot him.

"Man, calm down... You got cut. See, right here? Don'tcha feel it?" That light touch on the outskirts of the jagged cut in his side, close to his back, made him flinch.

"Don't touch it, dumbass!" Of course he'd noticed it, but it wasn't worth any sort of attention. Besides the fact that Hakkai would have to stitch his shirt up, which he could mention after they all had some sleep.

Hakkai had reached the top of the stairs behind them just as Gojyo was pointing out the cut. So, of course he just had to inspect it and make a big deal out of nothing. "It's shallow, but it's a pretty nasty cut. It could possibly get infected. I could heal it if it bothers you."

"Don't bother, Hakkai. It's fine." His voice was softer than the one he'd used on Gojyo, but brooked no argument.

Hakkai conceded and sheparded a sleepy-headed Goku to their old room to get their stuff. Sanzo marched ahead of Gojyo into their new room and set his gun down on the small table between their beds. He wasted no time in peeling off his tight shirt to have a look at it. He found the rip in the fabric and tsked in disapproval. It would rip more if he wore it, so he put the lightly stained shirt on the table with his gun and sat down on the bed. He couldn't decide which he wanted more: another cigarette, or sleep. As he was deciding, an irritating voice commented from the doorway, "Maybe you should let Hakkai heal it, Sanzo. It would be a shame if you got a scar."

"Why in the fuck would you care?" The words came out strained, but he deluded himself into thinking that it was because Gojyo was straining what little patience he had. Yeah, right. "Besides, I already have scars."

"Oh," was all Gojyo said. He put their stuff down inside and shut the door, then walked over to his own bed and sat down. As Sanzo sat there debating a cigarette or sleep, Gojyo scrutinized Sanzo's chest, squinting in the scant light. The beds were only a few feet from the other, but it was doubtful he'd notice anything.

"You're not going to see them in this light, idiot," he admonished, though he felt himself flush lightly at being so intently looked at with his shirt off.

"Can't see 'em," Gojyo mumbled before he sheepishly looked away. He got into bed and rolled onto his side, away from Sanzo.

Sanzo lay in his bed, too, and pulled the covers up over his bare chest. As always, this new bed was just as cold as the last one. He felt like he should be used to it by now. But he wasn't.


	2. If You Meet the Buddha

While riding in Jeep the next day, Sanzo felt he was, in actuality, riding a bronco. The road was bumpy and filled with holes; there were too many for Hakkai to avoid. Lack of sleep and the jostling ride was making him extremely irritated. Seeming to sense this, the two in the back were quieter than usual. He should feel grateful, but instead even that annoyed him.

He idly scratched his lower back until Hakkai piped up in admonishment. "Don't scratch it Sanzo. You'll irritate it."

Sanzo did stop, letting his arm drop to his side again, mostly because he hadn't realized he'd done it and hated to show his discomfort. The way it pulled and itched reminded him a lot of his youth, and it was just plain annoying. He hated thinking back to that, all the scars that went unhealed… He hadn't had a healer like Hakkai back then. He hadn't had anyone back then, for that matter. No annoying, childish Goku… No pervert kappa…

"Perhaps you should let me heal it after all, Sanzo. I can tell it's bothering you."

Sanzo thought sarcastically to himself, 'What gave that away, I wonder?' What he said out loud was, "If I let you, will you shut up and die?"

Hakkai smiled. "Yes."

Sanzo grumbled something about camping.

"Very well, Sanzo."

The rest of the time passed idly. They didn't make it to the next town, so they got out of Jeep and prepared to camp. As they had expected, it was chilly, so they hunkered down for the biggest fire they could get away with. They laid blankets down so they wouldn't have to sleep on twigs and leaves.

After they were settled down and done with dinner, Hakkai went over to Sanzo and asked if he was ready. Wordlessly he pulled his arms from his robe's sleeves and let it hang from his waist, then lifted his shirt until the cut was visible. As Hakkai knelt beside him, he turned his head away and braced himself.

Hakkai hummed in disapproval after he'd inspected the cut. He lightly touched it before Sanzo saw dim light out of the corner of his eye and felt tingly pain in his side. He sucked in a breath. He hated when Hakkai used his chi on him. The spell caused a mix of pleasure and pain; the pleasure of the healing energy, and the pain of flesh stitching together. While it seemed like something one should just grudgingly endure, Sanzo couldn't help how amazing Hakkai's chi felt. It felt like a penetration, as if a part of Hakkai was entering him. He felt his face begin to burn with embarrassment, and he hoped it wasn't obvious. The initial touch was bad enough, but this…

When it was over Sanzo was left straining hard not to breathe heavily or show any sign of his…'discomfort.' He quickly put his shirt and robes back to the way they were; it was cold. As the healer stood he nodded at him in thanks. He got a polite smile in return before the other man went to his own blanket and sat cross-legged. They were huddled in a circle with the trees looming over them, far enough away from the road so they wouldn't be disturbed by any passing travelers. The others began talking, but Sanzo sat quietly, taking out his cigarettes and lighting up. As he smoked he willed himself to come down from the high of Hakkai touching him.

To distract himself and his hard-on he let himself get lost in memories. The first few times Goku had touched him— the first friendly touches he'd had for more than four years— had mentally shaken him; it had been impossible to stem the flood of emotion each time the younger man had been close. It took awhile, but he eventually got used to Goku touching him. He'd never had any friends in his youth, unless you could count Shuei— who was now dead— so it was hard to say if he would think of him as one. Whatever the case, it felt like he'd known the boy forever.

It was strange, but Sanzo had also been shocked by the feeling of Goku's chi. He could feel it when Goku touched him; as a monk he was susceptible to people's energy. (It was helpful when sensing youkai powers or would-be attackers sneaking up on him.) Goku's chi had been rock-solid and easy on his nerves, probably because it was kept at bay by the limiter on his head. He'd had a taste of his full energy before, when it had broken; pure energy had rolled off Goku in waves, powerful enough to feel from a few feet away. When he'd summoned the limiter he'd felt nothing, however, which was probably due to concentration.

His experience with Goku had not prepared him for the influence of Hakkai and Gojyo. Gojyo burned, either with truculent or sexual energy, depending on his mood. As for the other sealed youkai, despite Hakkai's gentle, polite way of contact, Sanzo could feel the dangerous power lurking just under the skin. He shivered at the residual effect Hakkai had left him with.

"Are you cold, Sanzo?"

Hakkai. Of course. Sanzo looked up, trying to give him his best steely look. "I'm fine."

Hakkai continued to stare at him, not put off by the look Sanzo was giving him. "Is something wrong?"

God, he hated how astute the guy was. "What in the hell would be wrong?" He sounded more annoyed than he probably should be.

Hakkai looked away, smiling awkwardly. "Indeed, it has been harrowingly mundane this past week. Other than the attack last night, it has been relatively quiet." Sanzo snorted at that; it was never quiet.

"D'ya think they're planning something, then?" piped up Goku.

"No doubt," Gojyo said, laying his hand atop Goku's head. Goku ignored Gojyo tousling his hair and looked at Sanzo with big eyes. "D'ya think Kougaiji might show up?" Hakkai laughed lightly and Gojyo grinned, shaking his head. Sanzo smoked his cigarette and ignored him.

Damn, but the erection in his jeans was getting unbearable. After another minute of pointless babble, he stood up and walked away toward a deeper part of the forest.

"Where ya goin' Sanzo! After we just said there'd be an attack!"

Sanzo heard Hakkai reassure Goku he as got farther and farther away. "I'm sure he's just 'going to the bathroom', Goku."

Once Sanzo thought he was far enough away from the others, he feverishly pulled up his robes and fumbled with the button and zipper of his jeans. He hissed as he pulled out his hard-on. The chill air made the heated flesh throb almost painfully. He leaned back on a tree and began pumping it with his hand. He was already leaking precum; it had been awhile since he'd relieved himself.

Besides ignoring his lustful side, he didn't want to risk the others hearing or smelling it on him, so he abstained for long periods of time. But right now he didn't care what they thought, he couldn't stand it. He fisted himself roughly and focused on the hard bark digging into his back, NOT the feeling of newly healed skin at his side, NOT thinking about healing energy. His attention wavered, and his thoughts turned to all the touches forced upon him in the past week.

_The kappa's arm slung over his shoulders, warm even through his robes, sending a thrill through him. The kappa's hand who had done gods-knew-what gripping his shoulder to stop him from turning around. The feather-light touch on his side where the cut was. Hakkai's chi slipping into his body._

Sanzo came, spurting hard. The ferocity of it made him gasp and throw his head back. He sagged against the tree as he rode out his orgasm. When he became aware of his surroundings again he put himself away quickly. He grabbed a few leaves and wiped the cum off his fingers. Just then a voice came echoing from their campsite. "Oi, Sanzo! What's takin' so long? You takin' a shit?" Sanzo's temple throbbed at the intrusion into his privacy. He couldn't bring himself to respond. He dropped the leaves to the ground and walked back to the camp, trying to look as casual as possible.

He must have looked annoyed, because Gojyo continued his teasing. "Aww, Miss Princess is back. How was your vacation, your majesty?"

Sanzo brandished the gun with a fed-up look on his face. When Gojyo squeaked in alarm and tried to hide behind a much too small Goku, Sanzo huffed and sat on his blanket. Since his orgasm, he'd felt even more sleepy, so he lay down, still clutching his gun. The others resumed their conversation, though more quietly. He lied there with his back to them and the fire, willing sleep to transport him away from their banter for awhile. Eventually, after some time, the conversation turned to him, waking him from the slight doze he'd managed to attain.

"Ah yes, but besides that... Have you noticed how haggard Sanzo has looked lately?"

"Haggard? What the fuck does that mean?"

"Pardon me. It means tired, Gojyo. Have you not noticed?"

"Hey, and he looks sleepy too!" Goku piped up.

"We just said that, ya stupid ape!"

"Nah-uh, erogappa! He looks sleepy, not tired. There's a difference!"

"What do you mean, Goku?"

"You know! He hasn't been sleepin'. When I first met him he didn't sleep very well. It's gotten worse again."

"Must be hard to sleep with that stick up his ass all the time."

"Gojyo, this is serious. I am very concerned about his health. He has been rather, um... as Goku said, sleepy."

"None of us have gotten much sleep, though. Not with this treatment," Gojyo said, probably indicating the forest they were camped in.

"That's a valid point, but I think there is more to it than that. Perhaps we should talk to him."

"You realize who you're talkin' about? Hell no! You know he won't tell us shit, Hakkai. He never does."

Hakkai sighed. "I know, but he isn't quite as reticient as you make him sound, Gojyo."

"D'ya think it has something to do with that Kami guy?"

"I don't know, Goku. That's possible."

"Well, good luck, and you can do somethin' without me. I ain't gonna be a part of this kamikaze mission."

Hakkai made a disapproving noise in his throat, but otherwise didn't push it.

Sanzo couldn't help but scoff in his thoughts. So what if he hadn't slept? That was no big deal. He'd dealt with similar shit before, without their help. He didn't need them butting into his business.

Besides, they'd just make it worse.


	3. ...Kill the Buddha

They had just purchased rooms in the inn they were staying at when Hakkai turned to him. Speaking quietly as Gojyo and Goku argued, he said, "Can I talk to you privately later, Sanzo?" Here they were, two days later, and Hakkai was really going to talk to him, even though no one but him would think it was a good idea.

"About what, exactly?"

That was met with one of Hakkai's favorite looks, which he must have used on many of the schoolchildren in his past lifetime. A look of 'sit down and shut up', with a smile.

"Tch, fine."

He anxiously endured dinner, wondering how Hakkai would approach him and what he should say. Despite Hakkai's good intentions, there was nothing he could do to help. Perhaps there was an easy excuse to use for his current mental state... Was it the situation with Kami-sama? Nearly dying and having the  _kappa_  save him? Seeing Hakkai and Goku lying still and deathly on the floor? Or was it even further back, when Shuuei-no, Rikudo-lay bloody at his feet?

He pushed away these toxic thoughts. It was better to focus on the task at hand, the confrontation with Hakkai.

So when Hakkai had him alone in the room Sanzo and Goku would share for the night, he was ready. He sat on the bed opposite Hakkai in his tight shirt and jeans, because the inn was a little too warm. He smoked on a cigarette, only allowable because of the open window he sat next to, his back to the wall. Hakkai sat calmly on the other bed with his hands in his lap. "Um, Sanzo, I wanted to talk about what's...bothering...you."

Sanzo used the excuse of puffing another lungful of smoke to stall his response. When he did answer, his voice was calm and lazy. "I don't know what you're talking about." Smoke drifted away from his head and out of the window as he spoke.

Hakkai sighed. "Sanzo, we can tell something is going on. You're worrying Goku."

"Worrying  ** _Goku_**? So why isn't  _ **he**_  here instead of you?"

"So you admit something should be worrying him."

"No, that's not what I said. Don't put words in my mouth." Already this conversation was annoying him. Hakkai was going about this all wrong. If he came and sat next to him, that would be a good first step. The next thing he'd have to do was lean close...

"Sanzo," Hakkai sighed, sounding long-suffering and full of pity. "We're your friends. We have been through so much together. It is not something you have to endure alone."

Sanzo smashed his cigarette in the ashtray beside him and slid off the bed. "This conversation is over." He stormed toward the door. As his hand reached for the doorknob, a normally gentle hand grabbed his wrist with enough force to halt his movement. Sanzo froze, shocked at the sudden feeling of Hakkai's hand, and the chi that accompanied it; his mind screamed 'danger' at the intensity of his energy. After the initial shock he glared into Hakkai's green eyes, but the other man didn't budge. "Sanzo, you are endangering not only yourself, but us. We have a right to know what is going on with you. If it is something we can help you with-"

"It isn't something you can help me with," Sanzo snarled, realizing too late that this statement would admit his guilt. He cursed and tried to yank his arm out of Hakkai's grip. Hakkai only gripped him harder.

"Sanzo—"

"No, you can't! None of you can, and don't try to pull that 'friends' bullshit. None of you are my friends, and I just want to be left alone!" He was so angry he thought he'd explode. When his arm-yanking got him nowhere, he snarled, "Let go!"

Hakkai's face was unreadable, but his voice shook. "I refuse. Why are you trying to keep everything all to yourself? Even though you said you trusted me with your life." He grabbed Sanzo's opposite shoulder and pulled him around so they would see each other face-to-face. Sanzo went rigid, containing himself.

The brunette was now clutching both of his shoulders. He swallowed hard and squeezed Sanzo's shoulders, as if in reassurance. "Sanzo, please don't say such things."

Sanzo was shocked into silence by Hakkai's gaze and those long, graceful fingers clutching his shoulders. There was an awkward silence, during which he couldn't endure that look. He twisted his head away and struggled, saying, "Let go of me," in as harsh a voice as he could.

"No," Hakkai asserted. Sanzo's eyes squeezed shut, wincing. "You are spiraling out of control, I can tell." The words were whispered, and Sanzo felt Hakkai get closer. 'He knows my weakness...?' Sanzo thought. He felt like dying; there was no avoiding it if Hakkai stayed this close to him—he'd snap.

"Why are you doing this?" he muttered.

"Can't you understand? I need you, Sanzo."

That shocked Sanzo so much he jerked back, hitting the door. The other man still held his shoulders but now used the door to his advantage, pressing Sanzo against it. Sanzo couldn't fathom how how Hakkai could seem so strangely calm, his polite mask in place, despite what he'd just said.

"I need your friendship," he continued, just as seriously, though it was obvious by how he said it he was upset. Sanzo felt like the pang in his stomach he'd felt at those words 'I need you' turn into a strange twisting feeling in his gut. "We all need you to be our leader. Goku relies on you for his stability, whether you realize it or not. Even Gojyo relies on you to make good decisions. If you can't function properly, it follows that neither can we."

Sanzo almost laughed out loud. Leave it to Hakkai to point out all his failures. 'I know. Of course I know.' He found himself shaking his head. He sagged back against the door, letting the back of his head thunk on it. "Hakkai, nothing I 'feel' will ever conflict with the mission," he said, condescendingly.

Hakkai hissed out a breath. That was the angriest he'd sounded since their argument during Gojyo's absence. "Sanzo, I know well what keeping pain inside does to someone. Trust me on this; you can't keep something like this to yourself. It will come out eventually, and often at the worst possible time."

Sanzo didn't understand what he was trying to say. 'It's not like I lost my lover, or sister,' he thought. Out loud he stated, "I already told you there's nothing you can do. What do you expect, that saying pointless things will change anything?"

As he spoke, he was acutely aware of the erection in his pants that had been forming ever since Hakkai had touched him. He was also acutely aware of the fact that if Hakkai looked down, it would be obvious. Hakkai's annoyed breath on his face and neck left a pleasant tingling sensation on his skin. The fingers that had done so many sinful things were digging into the bare flesh of his shoulders, which was made all the stronger by the sensation of his trapped and wicked chi. The proximity of the healer was no longer tolerable. It took all his willpower not to press forward and kiss him. Sanzo was distracted by the thought. 'That would shut him up...'

"I expect you to own up to having a problem, Sanzo. Only when you can admit it will you be able to move past it."

Sanzo growled, "Oh please." He pushed his shoulders against Hakkai's hands. "This conversation is  _definitely_  over."

" _Conversation_? That's a strong word for what is currently happening. I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall." He kept Sanzo where he was by pushing back. So Sanzo struggled harder.

"Let go!" he snarled.

"You can't keep running away, Sanzo!"

"Like hell!" He jerked very hard, forcing Hakkai back a step. Hakkai slammed him back against the door, pressing his body against Sanzo's as if he was ready to wrestle him.

There was breath on his ear as the other man said something. He was too distracted by the hot body pressing into him to process any words. Hakkai's energy was overpowering like this. It took everything he had not to moan aloud. He bit his lip hard.

Then Hakkai shifted against him and he felt Hakkai's hip area rub on his erection through their pants. The touch sent sparks flying behind his eyes and he gasped.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai did it again, as if testing. This time Sanzo made a quick mewl sound, though it was so low it was barely audible, and so short Hakkai couldn't be sure it had existed at all. There would be no mistake now; Sanzo felt his face begin to burn with shame.

Immediately upon recognizing what had happened, Hakkai let go and fell back, face bright red. "I'm—I'm sorry, Sanzo, I—"

Dazed, Sanzo only recognized that Hakkai had finally let go, leaving just the scent of his shampoo and moisturizer behind. His body moved automatically, doing the only thing he knew how to do.

Leave.

Hakkai was left alone in the room, confused and shocked, unable to decide whether he should follow.

* * *

Sanzo approached his room for the night with an anxious knot in his belly, not sure how Goku would react, what Hakkai would have told him about their conversation. If Goku knew, would he room with him? The thought bothered him, and he was not looking forward to the scrutiny that would surely happen. Then suddenly the floor tilted oddly and he fell partially against the wall. He snickered at the fact that he was so fucking drunk he couldn't walk straight.

After the argument, he'd gone to the public bathroom, jacked off, then went straight for the bar. He just wanted to forget for awhile, he guessed; he really wasn't sure why. Forget, for at least a while, why he was stuck with sexy youkai, day in and day out. Forget he was lusting after YOUKAI of all things... Not that he cared, particularly, that they were youkai… and they weren't regular youkai, either. It was just  _ironic_.

He fumbled with the doorknob and walked inside the room. He found himself sitting on his bed, and looking at the bed across from him. Hakkai was lying in the other bed, looking at him with a startled, sleepy look. How long had he been at the bar? Probably awhile.

"What the fuck are you still doing here?"

"Well, this is my room, Sanzo—"

"I thought Goku was rooming with me," Sanzo interrupted, trying his hardest not to speak with a slur but failing miserably. He suddenly noticed that Hakkai had sat up and looked like he was angry.

"Sanzo, are you drunk?"

"So what?"

"Sanzo..." That was not said in a good tone. He didn't think he'd ever heard his title said like that before. "Why are you drunk?"

"Because I drank liquor, dumbass." He flopped back on his bed and laid there spinning for a moment or two. Then he realized something was wrong. He couldn't lie down like this. His head was almost touching the wall. It was lucky he hadn't hit it when he'd laid back.

And then he felt something tugging at the boots on his feet, and he lazily tried to get them away from whatever was on them. Whatever had him kept its hold, so he looked down, and saw Hakkai calmly taking them off. He didn't know why, and he didn't really question. All he could think about was sleep. He was always so goddamn tired nowadays. The drinking was only making it worse.

Then Hakkai's arms were around him, holding him up as he did something which Sanzo couldn't see. He wasn't exactly sure what was going on, all he knew was that Hakkai, the hott healer-murderer, was in his arms. He clutched him back as if his life depended on it. Then he was lying back on the moderately soft bed, and Hakkai was smoothing the blankets over him. He didn't really notice this detail, however, and didn't let go of Hakkai when he made to move away.

"You can let go now, Sanzo," he said. His voice was so calm. He wondered what it would be like moaning his name, how it would sound.

"Tell you want me...to, and I still...won't."

Hakkai laughed an obviously nervous laugh. "This is usually behavior reserved for Gojyo, Sanzo. Don't you think? You need to get some sleep. It will help."

"I'm not the fucking...pervert kappa... Fucking dick on legs, you know."

"Yes, I know, Sanzo."

God, he was humoring him. Even in his drunk state it annoyed him.

"Don't fucking patronize me. You're..." He realized then that Hakkai was moving away. When had he let go?

"Hey, I wasn't done talking."

He was out of bed in an instant, standing woozily in the middle of the room. He wasn't sure what he was doing, or even what he had been about to say.

"Then what were you saying, Sanzo?"

"What?"

"What were you saying?"

"...You trying to pick a fight?"

"Sanzo, really! How much did you have to drink?"

"Tch, who cares? Three Aspects will be  _pissed_  though..." He snickered.

Suddenly he felt sick, like he would throw up right then. He held his mouth and bent over, moaning. The rest of the night was a blur.

* * *

The next morning he woke up with a gigantic hangover. Fuck. The first question that came to mind was, 'What happened last night after I left the bar?'

He felt really warm, so he looked and found someone beside him. Brown, tousled hair, but darker than the monkey's. Hakkai. Green eyes met his, and the healer smiled. He must have had a pretty astonished look on his face, because Hakkai laughed lightly and shifted in the bed. He realized they were lying side by side, under the covers, in an embarrassingly comfortable position. "It was the only way I could get you to sleep in a bed, Sanzo. You were quite drunk last night."

"So this hangover has been telling me," Sanzo groaned, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. He felt warm fingers touch his forehead and the familiar chi enter him. The pain faded and he blinked up at the ceiling.

"You didn't have to do that."

"No, but... Well, it's for the best."

"Tch."

The rest of the day proceeded in a strangely normal way. They had breakfast, Hakkai had to drag the two idiots out to the car, and they drove off. The ride was boring, and Sanzo found himself trying to remember with all his might what he'd done after he'd gotten back to the room. He had a vague recalling of Hakkai with him in the bathroom as he was sick; of Hakkai's solid form under his arm as the other man guided him along; and that was it. Typical Hakkai, forgoing his own interests and safety for other people. He probably secretly thought he was disgusting. He'd never let Sanzo know, but Sanzo suspected, and that was all it took to make him want to get the gun out of his sleeve and put it to his own temple.

He mentally shook off the feeling and watched the scenery go by. He was dead tired, for sure, but he'd never be able to fall asleep in the jeep with how bumpy the roads were around here. So he was stuck half-asleep, deep in thought.

That night, as they sat in Jeep trying to catch some sleep as they sometimes had to, Sanzo was awake and watching the stars, listening enviously to the snoring and deep breathing from the back seat. Even though he was dead tired, he still couldn't sleep. Then Hakkai lightly touched his arm. He jumped, looking at Hakkai with a frown.

"What?" he hissed.

"It's nothing to be ashamed about."

Sanzo turned his head back up to the sky above, but didn't see it this time. Instead, the memory of last night flashed through his mind. "I don't want to talk about it."

Hakkai sighed. "Neither do I. But we have to."

"No, we don't."

"Sanzo…"

"I said, we don't. End of discussion."

It was silent for awhile, the crickets the only thing breaking up the monotony. So many shameful memories flitted through Sanzo's mind, and when he closed his eyes he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Couldn't hurt to try.

"I know you are having trouble sleeping."

Sanzo opened his eyes again and looked over at Hakkai, who was sitting up and alert in the driver's seat, staring at him intensely. That scrutiny only made Sanzo's stomach flip-flop. Hakkai could probably turn someone to stone with that look.

He finally found his voice after a moment and choked out, "Who said I can't?"

"I know you haven't been sleeping well. Your shooting has been slightly off these past few days. You also haven't been brushing your hair properly."

Sanzo ran his hand through his hair at the prompting and found it tangled with knots. He hissed in frustration and sat up, vein throbbing.

"It's just something I have to figure out for myself, Hakkai. Leave it alone."

"Or what?"

Sanzo glared at the unfazed man beside him. "Or things will get ugly."

"I seem to perceive they already  _are_ , Sanzo."

"Just die already."

Hakkai smiled a small smile and shook his head. "You must know I will never let this go." Those words made Sanzo wince and lean back against his seat.

"Hakkai, please," he said, just as quietly. Now he was begging? Pathetic.

"Um... What I mean to say, is that was a perfectly normal reaction. I…" Hakkai was visibly uncomfortable now, but he pressed on. "Don't be mad at me for bringing this up, but someone who is…celibate… or hasn't had sex for awhile… Can get aroused much more easily than a man with a healthy, active sex life. I didn't take it personally, Sanzo. You don't have to worry about me thinking of you in a disdainful light. It is just a normal bodily process."

Sanzo was quiet after this. He really had nothing to say to that. He was glad Hakkai was not offended, but he was also burning with guilt. What, was he supposed to say, 'You should take it personally? It was because of you?' No. Not in a million years. It was also sort of insulting that Hakkai made his libido sound like needing to eat or take a shit. It was a little bit more than that.

"Sanzo? What are you thinking about?"

Sanzo didn't have the courage to look at Hakkai's face again. When the other man got no response, he put a hand on Sanzo's shoulder. Sanzo flinched. Hakkai put his hand up in a surrender gesture and muttered an apology. "I'm sorry, I know you don't like touching. But Sanzo, I'd like it if you answered me when I talked to you."

"It's not that I don't like touching," Sanzo muttered.

"What?"

"..."

"Sanzo, please. You're being selfish with the way you are acting."

"If you don't like it, then you should leave."

"Let me guess, you'll walk all the way by yourself."

"I will."

"You wouldn't last a week. I'd like to see you try."

The challenge in Hakkai's tone took him off guard, but he forged on. "I didn't have a car when I was 14."

"You also didn't get very far, now did you?"

At this Sanzo turned his head and stared at Hakkai. He'd lost the conversation, but he didn't want to concede anything.

"Look, Sanzo. Why don't you try seeing it from our point of view?"

"From a youkai's point of view? I'll pass." He sneered.

Hakkai spoke even more quietly. "Since when has that mattered."

"Shit, never," Sanzo growled, finally fed up with the whole thing. He jumped out of Jeep and stormed off into the trees. If he had to take Hakkai's incessant questioning, he would rather shoot himself. Or walk, like he'd been challenged to. Choosing the better route, he walked through the forest, following parallel to the road. If Hakkai chose to chase him with Jeep, he didn't want to be visible on the road. The forest wasn't so dense that he had a hard time in the dark, but it was a little slow going. He saw a form up ahead but kept walking. When he got closer he saw it was Hakkai, who was breathing heavy. "Sanzo, wait," he said breathlessly, but Sanzo brushed past him. The youkai's hand darted out and grabbed Sanzo's wrist. It took all of the monk's self-restraint not to throw him to the ground. He was afraid of what might happen if he did.

"Is the problem because it was…" Hakkai faltered here, but bravely stuttered on anyway. "Was personal?"

Sanzo whirled on him. "You know nothing about me!" Hakkai saw the fist coming at his face and reacted instinctively, reeling back and letting go of Sanzo, barely avoiding the blow. Sanzo stormed away, cracking twigs and leaves underfoot with a vengeance.

Hakkai darted forward, grabbed Sanzo by the shoulders, turned him, and slammed him against the closest tree.

"What do you think—" Sanzo growled, before he was silenced by lips on his mouth. His eyes opened wide in shock as he saw Hakkai, eyes closed, kissing him, felt the man's lips on his own. He was too shocked to move, too shocked to think. He just stood there. The moment passed before Sanzo knew what was happening.

Hakkai withdrew, slowly opening his eyes. They were glazed over, but they soon focused on Sanzo's face and met his eyes, looking back and forth to both, trying to read the monk. "Hakkai—" Sanzo choked. "What was…" He was cut off again as Hakkai leaned forward, pressing his body along Sanzo's and touching his lips softly back to where they had just been. Sanzo gripped Hakkai's shoulders and breathed in deep through his nose.

Hakkai felt him tremble slightly before going still, accepting what was happening. That made him press his lips harder, trying to get Sanzo to respond. Finally he did, pressing back. The youkai chose that time to rub his hips forward, grinding quite purposefully into Sanzo's groin.

Sanzo gasped and bucked his hips as the friction slid over his erection. The kiss had made him immediately start getting hard, and the friction even harder. To his amazement Hakkai groaned into his mouth, and so he moaned back, clutching Hakkai to him. The healer opened his mouth slightly and flicked his tongue across Sanzo's lips. Sanzo immediately opened up to him. They both forgot to breathe when their tongues touched and danced hesitantly together. The kiss was undeniably awkward.

Hakkai began to grind into Sanzo rhythmically at a slow pace. Sanzo couldn't help thrusting into that movement, wanting more. Their kiss deepened, tongues battling for dominance. All thoughts and reservations flew out of the window as Hakkai's hands began to travel down his body. That was when the kiss ended, leaving them breathing hard. As they caught their breath, Hakkai never ceased the movement of his hips. By this time Sanzo could feel the other's erection through their clothing, and it sent a fiery tingle through his whole body. Both of their faces were flushed, lips swollen. Hakkai looked into Sanzo's eyes as he ground their pelvises together.

Sanzo tangled one of his hands in Hakkai's hair and the other gripped one narrow hip. "Hakkai," he gasped out, now entirely matching Hakkai's rhythm. It felt a lot like drowning. The sensations were so intense and he was entirely caught off-guard.

He felt hands fumbling at his robes, trying to push them up, and he obediently rose away so Hakkai could lift them enough to get at his jeans. They stopped humping each other so they could instead struggle with each other's pants. Hakkai reached his erection first, and Sanzo almost collapsed. Hakkai gently guided both of them to sit, Sanzo against the tree and Hakkai kneeling in front of him.

They began to stroke each other, their movements jerky and unfamiliar, but overeager nonetheless. Their lips met again, their tongues battling as their hands stroked. They enjoyed the feeling of each other's heat in the slight cold, and both felt the pleasure build quickly. Sanzo was enraptured by the little noises Hakkai mistakenly made when something was pleasurable, and sought after hearing more of them. Soon, however, he felt his orgasm come roaring up whether he liked it or not. The weight of the situation—Hakkai kissing him, touching him—was overpowering. He tried to groan out a warning into Hakkai's mouth, but that did nothing to deter that wicked hand. Sanzo's tongue and hand stuttered as his orgasm ripped through him. He drew back and gasped, "Hakkai!" He came for what felt like forever, spurting multiple times over Hakkai's fist. When it was over he fell back against the tree.

He took a moment to recover, his hand still on Hakkai's cock. Hakkai watched him with half-lidded eyes, thrusting minutely into his hand. That prompted him to begin stroking again, harder this time. Their breaths mingled from their extremely close proximity, and Hakkai's surging energy made Sanzo feel like he was going to get ripped apart. Finally the energy crested and broke, and Hakkai fell forward into Sanzo's shoulder, moaning out "Sanzo" as if it had never been a holy title. Sanzo felt hot liquid running over his hands and he smiled.

After it was over they both sat next to each other, huddled partially into their mutual heat, breathing hard. Neither wanted to speak first, so they sat in companionable silence. Sanzo, having surfaced above his lust, wondered how this had happened. As for the other man involved, Hakkai was embarrassed at acting so rashly. They were both unsure what this meant, if this would change anything. Hakkai thought Sanzo might be mad except that he was breathing lighter now and not moving away. Still, it would be wise to apologize.

"Um, Sanzo-"

"Shut up."

Hakkai looked at the side of his face; the monk was frowning. "But I-"

"Don't say it. I don't want to hear it."

Hakkai sighed in relief and looked up at the tree's branches. A nondescript spot, which they would never return to-a place lost in the forest-and here they had shared something altogether new, and scary, and it made him giddy. He hoped Sanzo felt the same.

Sanzo didn't know why Hakkai had done what he'd done: pity, fear of losing Sanzo, or his own desire? He hoped it was desire, but he knew Hakkai would say whatever he thought Sanzo wanted to hear. That was unacceptable. Perhaps it wasn't so bad being healed, after all, if this was how it was done.


	4. If You Meet Your Father

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fixed 4/9/15

When they reached town Sanzo got the customary two rooms with two beds, anticipating more assassins. Once he gave Hakkai the keys, the healer walked up the stairs with their bags. Sanzo watched him go. Gojyo got close behind the monk as he stood staring and said, "Oi," near enough to his ear that Sanzo almost jumped out of his skin.

Caught staring at the healer, Sanzo quickly looked away at something nearby and grunted in acknowledgment, trying to ignore his proximity.

"What'd you do to Hakkai?" the hanyou said.

Sanzo took a step away and half-turned, looking over his shoulder at Gojyo. "What?"

"I saw you two go off last night after your little argument, and ever since Hakkai has been really...weird. What'd you do to him?"

Sanzo faced forward again and walked toward the stairs. "Nothing."

Gojyo grunted as if he was suspicious but didn't press the issue. He followed the monk up the stairs, followed by shouts from Goku about hurrying. The monkey-boy chose to wait anxiously at the bottom of the stairs, staring at the doorway where the smells of food wafted.

The others didn't notice they'd left him behind. Sanzo walked up to one of their rooms and saw Hakkai, so he stood in the doorway, watching Hakkai sort and put the stuff away. Gojyo came up behind him and looked in the door after him. "Instead of standing there, why don't you help him out?" Gojyo grumbled in his ear. He was uncomfortably close again, so Sanzo moved into the room to get away from him. "Why don't you?" he grumbled back. Hakkai shook his head at their exchange but continued unpacking, and certainly didn't ask for help from either of them.

"Here are your bags, Sanzo, Gojyo. Your room is two doors down on the left. I'll take Goku to dinner while you put them away." His words startled Sanzo, and he said, as calmly as he could, "I thought we were rooming together."

"Oh. No, Goku complained that Gojyo played a prank on him and he doesn't want to room with him anymore." Gojyo snickered at the reminder, slinging his bag over his shoulder. When both men gave him disapproving looks, he said, "Hey, the monkey started it! You don't want to know what he did to me first!"

"Really, Gojyo, that's no reason to act like a child," Hakkai admonished. "This is the fifth time this has happened. Hmm, where is Goku?"

Sanzo felt his shoulders slumping. He thought he was going to get to room with Hakkai...and perhaps work out some of their "argument" further. If he complained, it would be suspicious. So instead he mentally cursed Hakkai's kindness as he carried his small bag to his room. He didn't want to face dinner, and certainly didn't want to sleep in the same room as the kappa. Whether Gojyo went out or stayed, he wouldn't be able to sleep. It would be worse if he came back drunk again, though, so he would have him stay. But that was just as bad, because Sanzo would be horny as fuck listening to Gojyo masturbate, like he almost always did at some point. It happened often enough that sometimes even thinking about rooming with the guy gave him a hard-on.

Despite how much he didn't want to, at Hakkai's request he did eat dinner with the others. Zoned out as he was, it seemed to happen quickly, like a routine. Afterward he went straight back to his room and sat in the crummy chair to read the paper and relax. When Gojyo came back to the room a few minutes later—presumably for his smokes—and made to leave again, Sanzo spoke up. "You're not allowed to go out. Stay in the room where I can keep an eye on you."

"Damn, since when do you get to boss me around like that?"

Sanzo looked over the newspaper and his glasses and intoned, "Since I became leader of this group a year ago."

Gojyo tch'd and slammed the door shut. He sat like a precocious child on the bed and pouted. This went on for a few minutes before Gojyo broke the silence.

"Now I won't be able to sleep," Gojyo whined.

Sanzo, who was trying to read, nonetheless waited for an explanation. When none was forthcoming, he put his paper down in his lap and took off his glasses, annoyed. He stared at the kappa, who appeared to be ignoring him. So he said, "...And why is that?"

Gojyo shifted on the bed and played with an unlit cigarette. "You know."

"...No, I don't."

Gojyo shrugged and put the cigarette in his mouth. He patted his pants for his lighter, but didn't find it, so he began rummaging in his backpack. Sanzo was curious to see what Gojyo was hinting at, so he waited patiently for Gojyo to find his lighter and light his cig before saying sarcastically, "Are you going to tell me how staying out all night helps with sleeping? If not, then stay quiet."

Gojyo looked at him like he was surprised he was still asking. "It's not that that helps, man."

"Then what is it?"

"Oi...What's with the 20 questions?"

"I thought you stayed out to chase tail."

Gojyo spoke carefully, like he wasn't sure if he should say what he said next. "Well, yeah... And that's why."

Sanzo raised an eyebrow. He gave up on reading and put his glasses and folded newspaper on the bedside table. "So, you fuck around to—?"

"You got it." Gojyo flicked his ashes on the floor and seemed uncomfortable with their discussion.

"Huh." That was interesting. He'd thought he was the only one with sleeping problems. Apparently Gojyo was a bit of an insomniac and used sex (and probably alcohol) to help him sleep. Perhaps Sanzo should have tried this method years ago.

...Please.

"Have you ever thought there might be better ways?"

"Oh, don't start," Gojyo interrupted, puffing on his cigarette. "I get enough of that from Hakkai."

"Tch." Sanzo wasn't completely convinced. Maybe he'd heard something from Hakkai, or he was trying to talk to Sanzo about why he wasn't sleeping, but in his own way. It wasn't like the kappa to be so indirect, however. Sanzo decided he didn't care. "Sucks to be you then, doesn't it?"

Gojyo scrubbed his face with his hand, but didn't say anything. He just sat there and smoked.

It was nighttime by now and they would hit the road early, so Sanzo began to get ready for bed. He stripped down to his jeans and shirt and laid down to seem like he was going to sleep. Gojyo got up and stood by the open window, smoking. When he was done, he also got into bed. Silence fell and Sanzo waited for sleep, but it didn't come.

After what felt like forever, he heard subtle movements from the other bed.

Sanzo squeezed his eyes shut harder. He was facing the wall, covers pulled over his shoulders. He could imagine, from having seeing Gojyo in the dim light of a hotel room before, the barely moving yet rhythmic form. The hissing breath barely audible in the quiet room. The eventual release that had the bed creaking, the gasp that followed.

Sanzo reached down and touched his arousal slowly and carefully so as not to draw attention to himself. He stroked through his jeans, but it was more frustrating than pleasurable. There was no way he'd find release like this. He let the sounds from the other bed drive him higher rather than his hand.

Suddenly they stopped, and Gojyo shifted. "Sanzo?"

Shit.

He stayed as still as he could, wondering what had tipped Gojyo off.

"I know you're fucking awake, listening to me jack off, you damn gay monk. Just own up to it."

Sanzo sighed and rolled over. "It's impossible not to hear you, Gojyo."

"I knew it! You're fucking gay!"

Sanzo glared at him, though he could hardly see anything in the dim light. "Fuck you, pervert. Don't push your hopes and dreams onto me."

"Well, then," Gojyo sputtered. "Give me some clue you're still awake so I can jack off in peace without you listening!"

"You want privacy? Then don't bother getting into Jeep tomorrow."

"Whatever, holy-shit monk. I know you liked listening to it, otherwise you would have done something to stop me."

"I simply chose to ignore you."

"God! You are such a prick!"

Sanzo grumbled to himself and tried to get comfortable in bed. "Go to hell and die so I can sleep."

"Like I can with you fucking listening to me!"

Despite what he said he stayed still, and there was silence again. After a few minutes, Gojyo spoke up, sounding nervous. "So uh, why can't you sleep again?"

"…"

"Oh c'mon! I told you why I can't! I haven't even told Hakkai that shit! The least you could do is tell me so we're even."

Sanzo wasn't sure what to say. Usually it was because he was so tired all he felt was his body aching, and then thoughts and memories would get stuck in his head. Sometimes it was because he'd ignore his needs during the day, so they would haunt him at night. The consistent insomnia was caused by many different things, but that's not what Gojyo was asking. The truth didn't matter. So he chose to mess with him.

"Same problem as you," he said bluntly, smirking, though he didn't think Gojyo could see. His face still burned at saying something like that, though. Gojyo whistled low and quietly and said, "Wow, so Cherry-chan does get urges!"

"Shut up and die." It didn't seem Gojyo realized he was joking.

"Aww, but Sanzo, 'it's a natural thing. Nothing to be ashamed of.'" The imitation of Hakkai was almost perfect, and Sanzo was so surprised he was about to laugh. Instead he made a weird grunt sound and then hissed, "Shut up! And stop eavesdropping on people!" He wondered at the fact Gojyo had been awake and listening. Seemed like he'd overheard everything.

Gojyo just laughed, and Sanzo felt his face flush at the low, husky sound.

There was a silent period again before Gojyo broke it—again—sounding even more nervous than before. "So yeah, about that…"

"If you even so much as try to hit on me, I swear I will kill you."

"But Sanzo! It makes so much sense!"

"Ugh."

"No, it does! We're both horny so we can't sleep, and we can't both be tired in the morning in case we get attacked." When Sanzo didn't say anything for a moment, he followed up with, "It's for, you know, the mission."

"You would say anything to get laid, wouldn't you?" Sanzo responded, angry.

Gojyo sounded amused as he said, "Yeah, I know. I'm shameless. But you gotta admit, it makes sense."

"And what makes you think I want to do anything with you, cockroach?"

"…Ouch, man. Let a guy off easy." Gojyo said it in a mocking tone, but Sanzo could tell he was actually hurt.

Sanzo sighed and shifted under the covers. "Enough. I was lying before."

"Oh..." There was an awkward silence. Gojyo really couldn't take a joke. Sounding optimisitc still, Gojyo bravely marched on, saying, "It still makes sense, though. I wanna sleep, you wanna sleep. If you want me to shut up..."

Sanzo hissed in frustration and thrashed in his bed, causing the bed to squeak. He tried to glare at the dark form he knew was his travel companion from across the room. Gojyo spoke up before Sanzo could go off. "Yo, look, what's some random sex between friends? It ain't gonna hurt. Unless you think you'd fall for me or something… Which I wouldn't be surprised about, honestly; I've had plenty of girls fall for me after sex..."

Damn, his arrogance was so annoying! "Like I would, idiot!"

"Yeah, well," Gojyo said. Sanzo saw him move and heard the sound of cloth rustling. Then the form came closer. He realized with dread that Gojyo was actually going to come through on what he was saying. What should be do?

As Gojyo came over and leaned down, Sanzo stayed as he was and watched, paralyzed. The tentative touch on his face made him suck in a breath. Those fingers traveled around his face, leaving a tingly pleasure in their wake, until they found his lips. Then Gojyo leaned forward and pressed a light, chaste kiss on Sanzo's mouth. His lips were warm and firm, inviting. When he backed away, Sanzo was left completely speechless. There was no way he could refuse such an open invitation.

He pushed the covers down and reached up to grab the kappa around the neck, bringing him down for a hard, furious kiss. Gojyo moaned into his mouth, caressing the side of Sanzo's face as they kissed. Sanzo found his own fingers tangling into Gojyo's soft, long hair. Gojyo's tongue slid forward and pressed forcefully against Sanzo's closed lips until it forced its way in. At the invasion of Gojyo's tongue, which tasted of cigarette smoke and cucumbers, Sanzo felt his cock twitch and his back arch. Gojyo deepened the kiss, angling his body for a better angle before using Sanzo's grip on his shoulders to haul the monk up to a sitting position. He sat down on the edge of the bed in front of him. Sanzo absent-mindedly kicked off the covers as their lips and tongues entwined.

The kiss was intense, a thousand times more mind-blowing than Hakkai's had been. The swirling tongue demanded a taste of everything Sanzo had to offer. Sanzo tried to respond as best as he knew how, but it was fairly obvious to Gojyo he was new at this. Or just bad at it.

The monk felt himself lose it when Gojyo's hand traveled up under his tight shirt and caressed his abs. His grip shifted to Gojyo's shoulders. He slammed the other man down on the bed and pressed him down, not giving him time to say or do anything before he kissed him again, ferociously.

With Sanzo straddling him, Gojyo was at a loss; the kiss was hungry and commanded all of his attention. He snuck a few more touches of Sanzo's bare skin, which was smooth and burning hot. The fact that such a cold man could be so warm when you were close to him was an unexpected turn-on.

It was distracting, however, and Sanzo soon noticed. He rose off Gojyo and stared, looking expectant and parting his mouth like he'd say something.

"This what you want?" Gojyo purred before he ran his hands up Sanzo's shirt fully. Sanzo found himself panting, wildly aroused and wanting more. That rich voice made his cock twitch; it was the same voice he used when getting very close to a girl and flirting hardcore. His fingertips found his nipples and he didn't feel anything at first, but then, embarrassingly, it turned surprisingly pleasurable. His hips surged and he gasped.

Gojyo's grin was infuriating. Sanzo slapped those naughty hands away, glaring. Still, that cheeky, knowing grin; he'd wipe it off that smug face. Sanzo gripped the bottom of Gojyo's shirt and pulled it up. There, it worked; Gojyo's expression turned to one of surprise. He went with it though, even helping Sanzo take off his tight silk shirt, too. Sanzo flung it off the bed and then leaned down toward Gojyo's chest.

He then rained kisses down from his neck to his collarbone and then his pecs. Gojyo's chest heaved with restrained want. "Fuck, Sanzo," he hissed when Sanzo's tongue flicked across one hard nipple. Sanzo sucked on it, making Gojyo moan and writhe. 'I win', Sanzo thought. Then he bit down and got the best reaction yet, bucking and a startled gasp of "Fuck!" Gojyo squirmed and began pushing at Sanzo, but he didn't try very hard to get him off. Sanzo soothed the sensitive flesh with his tongue again.

Gojyo moaned as Sanzo treated the other nipple to the same thing, reacting even more than the first time. He groaned in lust and shoved his erection, still trapped in his pants, against Sanzo's side. Feeling like he'd teased the hanyou enough, Sanzo moved down, getting partially off the small bed in order to reach the kappa's pants. Gojyo's breath got harsher and louder as Sanzo worked at the ties. When they were undone he pulled them down, freeing Gojyo's erection. Sanzo grabbed the base, causing Gojyo to flinch. As Sanzo's breath ghosted over the pulsating flesh, Gojyo held his breath. Precum dripped down Gojyo's cock, gleaming in the moonlight. Sanzo licked at it experimentally.

He'd never done oral sex on someone else; he'd had it done to him, once. That had also been the time he'd lost his virginity. Some gay asshole had taken him to a room when he was younger and very, very drunk, one of the first times he'd gotten drunk in his life. He had to have been about 16. The guy had wanted to fuck him, but Sanzo, in his drunk state, got angry at being 'assaulted' and instead used his karate moves to pin the older man to the bed and fuck him. But he'd done it roughly, and it hadn't been very pleasurable from what he could remember. All he did remember, really, was the fury, and waking up in the guy's bed in the morning. His ass didn't hurt, so he knew he was still a virgin there, at least. He'd wanted to kill the guy, but he'd been barely able to walk from the pounding he'd taken, so Sanzo thought he'd been punished enough.

Even though he hadn't done it before, he wanted to suck Gojyo off. He wanted to be the one to make Gojyo feel pleasure, not some tramp. Damn lecher was always going around flirting with women and it pissed him off.

Gojyo murmured, "Ohhh yeah," shivering from the pleasure of Sanzo's tongue on his dick. Sanzo lathered the hard flesh with his tongue, licking up the slightly sweet liquid. He soon had Gojyo begging, "C'mon, Sanzo, suck it."

He finally slipped the head in his mouth and sucked. Gojyo stiffened wordlessly and his head tilted back. Quickly he looked again at the sight of Sanzo sucking the head of his cock. Sanzo, looking up at Gojyo's face, watched this with amusement. Perhaps he'd expected someone with so much experience to be bored with just this.

Satisfied so far, Sanzo sucked the hard, throbbing thing in as far into his throat as he could. It wasn't far—Gojyo's dick was as big as his ego—but apparently it was enough. "Oh fuck yeah, Sanzo!" Gojyo groaned. Sanzo enjoyed the feel and taste of Gojyo's arousal in his mouth. He had to stroke his own cock as he sucked on him.

"Ahh, Sanzo, I'm gonna… gonna come!" Gojyo groaned, sounding as if he was trying to restrain himself. His hands fisted in the bedsheets. Sanzo sucked harder, wanting Gojyo to come in his mouth. Soon Gojyo was moaning in one long stream, "Ohhhhfuckyeah," before he bucked, cum spurting from his cock. Sanzo was ready for it, but not for the amount. The liquid soon filled his mouth, and even when he swallowed there was more. Some dribbled out between his lips. Gojyo collapsed back onto the bed, breathing hard.

"Fuck, I needed that," Gojyo moaned out in the aftermath. He opened his eyes and looked at Sanzo's sullied mouth. "Sorry... Heh, I usually last longer..."

Sanzo wasn't listening to his babble, though. He sat up on the bed and wiped up the cum from his lips and chin. He then licked it off; Gojyo was watching, but he ignored that, too. It tasted better than he thought it would. When he was done he looked at Gojyo, who seemed mesmerized until their eyes met. He smiled back at Sanzo's stoic face. Seeing this, Sanzo sneered and thought about how he could get Gojyo on all fours.

Sanzo seemed thoughtful as he asked, "What would you have done if I shot you for kissing me?"

Gojyo shrugged. "I called your bluff, that's all. Took a gamble." He stroked the back of his fingers on Sanzo's cheek. The monk backed out of the touch, but Gojyo didn't seem to mind that fact. "How about you? What happened to that 'I don't want to do anything with you' bullshit you were spouting?"

Sanzo sat back on his knees from his position between Gojyo's legs and regarded the man with a skeptical look. "Maybe I don't."

Gojyo looked exasperated. "And what was that just now?" If he sounded a little angry, it was because Sanzo was a cold bastard.

"—Maybe I do want to do anything to you."

Gojyo stared at him in mock horror. Then he laughed. "Dude, that is just like you."

Then there was silence again. Gojyo stretched, still shirtless, and Sanzo watched. Afterwards he abruptly sat up, scooted back, and got off the bed.

But Sanzo wasn't done with him yet. "What are you doing?" he said, sounding a little annoyed.

"I'm turning on the light," Gojyo replied.

Sure enough, that's what he did. Then he tugged his pants off the rest of the way as Sanzo watched. In so doing he flashed his tight ass. When he turned around, he noticeably shivered from the look the monk was giving him. His cock was already getting hard again because of the attention. He strutted over to Sanzo and leaned over him. Sanzo stood his ground as if he refused to be intimidated. With a smile the redhead pressed his lips to his, licking at them. Sanzo's member was visible from when he had been stroking himself, so Gojyo latched his long fingers in the open fly and tugged them down. Sanzo lifted himself off the bed enough to allow Gojyo to pull his jeans down to his knees. They broke the kiss for a moment while Sanzo shifted positions to sit with his legs in front of him and Gojyo yanked his pants completely off.

They kissed again while Gojyo felt over Sanzo's bare thighs. Now that they were finally naked Gojyo went along with Sanzo's insistent body language commanding him to lay down on the bed. There was a moment of hesitation as Sanzo stared at him, so he gave the monk his best come-hither look. Sanzo grabbed his legs and separated them rather forcefully, crawling between them and leaning over the larger man. When Gojyo just smirked at his eagerness, Sanzo kissed him hard, running his fingers through red hair. While he enjoyed kissing—even Sanzo's rough ones—the hanyou wanted more. So, he mildly pushed him away and looked down at Sanzo's hard body.

"What?" Sanzo growled.

"You mind if I touch you?" Gojyo responded. Sanzo just said, "Whatever." Gojyo smiled brilliantly and smoothed his hands over the other's body. Gojyo was surprised at how good Sanzo felt. This body in front of him was trained to fight and it showed, but at the same time his robes protected his body from the harsh sun and sand, leaving his skin fair and soft. He went lower, until he was able to stroke Sanzo's cock. Sanzo gasped pleasantly, his eyes fluttering closed. The reaction was out of character and very cute.

Gojyo didn't like men on principle, but there were some men that were just too beautiful to ignore. Sanzo was one of them. Those golden locks that hung over his purple eyes, eyes that could wrench your heart out of your throat with one look. Sanzo's eyes were the most amazing part of him, able to convey so many things without words. Right now he was staring at Gojyo's body like a man dying of thirst looking at an oasis. Gojyo was a sucker for attention—he was a shameless exhibitionist—and he was completely aroused just by being looked at by the monk.

In this vein of thinking, he let go of Sanzo's body and caressed down his own smooth chest. He ran them lightly over his own muscles, arching his back just right, looking at Sanzo as if begging him to watch. His hands reached his groin, and shamelessly gripped his hard cock. He sucked in a breath as Sanzo's eyes flicked up from watching him pump his erection to looking him in the eyes. Sanzo's tongue absent-mindedly darted over his lips, moistening them. "Sanzo," Gojyo whispered in his sexiest voice. The ladies died over that shit.

It seemed to have a rather interesting effect on the normally aloof priest. His eyes became more piercing, boring into Gojyo's red ones. Then his sinfully luscious lips opened and he said, "I'm going to fuck you." Hearing that harsh voice saying something so dirty made his cock throb, his mouth parting open with a moan.

Sanzo held himself with his arms to either side of Gojyo's torso, watching the hanyou beneath him. He could hear the other's hand moving over his cock with a slick noise. Gojyo spread his legs wider, angling himself to be better viewed, and Sanzo could now see his balls clearly, which were completely hairless. Of course he would shave. One of Gojyo's hands slid down to cup them and roll them in his long fingers, humming at the feeling.

Sanzo's own cock strained with need, but he left it untouched for now. He had never seen anything like the show that was being put on for him now, and he wasn't about to pass it up. And Gojyo was loving every dirty second of it.

However, Sanzo wasn't going to let him win at this. He put his index and middle fingers to his mouth and parted his lips wantonly. Then he slowly slid his tongue out and licked them, staring at Gojyo the whole time. Gojyo was watching him just as intently, and Sanzo felt the hand on Gojyo's erection's increased pace more than saw it. His tongue and mouth sucked his fingers in and he moaned around them, his eyes sliding partially shut. He lathered them with his saliva and then dragged them out with a slick pop. The effect on Gojyo was obvious by his heated face and his frenzied movements. Sanzo used his dry hand to grab one of Gojyo's legs by the knee and haul him partially up in the air. Then he touched Gojyo's hole with his slick fingers. Gojyo flinched, but his gaze never wavered from Sanzo's.

The worldly monk teased Gojyo's entrance and enjoyed the feeling of Gojyo's muscles fluttering and body heaving with each breath. He continued to lightly prod the muscle until he deemed it a good time and then pressed in his middle finger hard. Gojyo grunted as the finger pushed past the ring of muscles in one stroke. Sanzo stroked his finger out again and pressed back in. It was so hot inside, and Gojyo was squeezing his finger like a vice. He didn't care if Gojyo was a virgin there or not, for he had no way to tell. All he knew was what he wanted.

He worked up the pace, going further inside, and was rewarded with a glaze-eyed kappa, still stroking his erection but now bracing himself on the bed with his other hand. Sanzo added another finger and this time, Gojyo broke eye contact and moaned, fisting himself rather roughly and wiggling from his slightly awkward position on the bed. Grinning at winning the staring contest, Sanzo leaned forward and captured Gojyo's mouth in another heated kiss.

It wasn't long before he couldn't stand it anymore, and dragged his fingers out. He then used that hand to guide himself to Gojyo's entrance, his other hand still holding Gojyo's leg. He thrust against the ring of muscles again, this time with the much larger digit, but it opened up fairly easily and he slid in to the hilt.

He groaned out at the feeling. It was tight and hot and twitching around him. Gojyo made not a sound, until Sanzo broke the kiss and thrust again. Then he groaned loudly, partly in pleasure but mostly discomfort. "I hate this part," he hissed. Even so, he didn't look that unhappy. Sanzo didn't respond, instead choosing to focus on the feeling of having Gojyo, finally. He hovered over the redhead, half-watching and half-enveloped in pleasure, and began thrusting in earnest. Gojyo moaned with each subsequent penetration, letting his cock go in order to guide Sanzo by gripping his ass. The feeling of someone clutching him made Sanzo grit his teeth to keep from moaning. The pleasure built quickly, and Sanzo finally let himself completely go, pounding Gojyo into the bed like he'd wanted to do for a long time.

Gojyo bit down on a knuckle to keep from being loud, but never stopped thrusting back onto Sanzo, impaling himself more. The fact that Gojyo was liking this was unexpectedly and extremely arousing. He felt the pleasure build to an intolerably high level before he came with one last jerk of his hips. And still Gojyo ground his ass down, gripping Sanzo's spurting cock inside. Sanzo realized he was whimpering in pleasure, it felt so good. When his orgasm subsided he collapsed onto the hot, sweaty form beneath him.

He was unable to move for a few minutes. When he finally did, he pulled out and fell down beside Gojyo. There was a stickiness on his stomach and a glistening on the other man's chest, and he realized that Gojyo must have come sometime during that pounding. He'd been thrusting too hard to notice. Whatever; he sighed in relief at feeling normal again, though tired.

Gojyo was watching him from his position beside him. Sanzo wasn't much for pillow talk, but he assumed Gojyo was. He found the high he had found within the other's body fade away at the thought of the repercussions of this little debacle. As he was about to order him back to his own bed, Gojyo got up to turn off the light. He returned a moment later and laid down beside Sanzo again, grabbed the covers where they'd been pushed halfway off the bed, and pulled them over both himself and Sanzo. The bed was uncomfortably small for two people to lay on it, forcing them to lay right next to each other. Still, Gojyo didn't try to cuddle up against him, though he obviously wanted to be close or he'd have gone to his own bed. Sanzo was glad he didn't try. He didn't want to have a Round 2. Once was bad enough. He couldn't believe he'd let his libido rule his actions. Goddamn pervert.

It was very warm like this, but not in an uncomfortable way. Though it caused an odd sensation he wasn't used to, he felt like it wasn't bad, either. Well, he was tired and not worth the effort to make Gojyo go away.

As he felt sleep coming on, his thoughts went to Hakkai. How would this affect what had happened between them yesterday? He didn't have an answer before he fell asleep.

Gojyo stayed awake a few minutes more, watching Sanzo's vulnerable face. The sex had been amazing, but he wasn't sure how Sanzo would react in the morning. Even though he felt like he may have fucked up big time (not the first time he'd let his libido ruin something), he found sleep easily.


	5. ...Kill Your Father

The next day was a glaringly bright, sunny day. Despite how awkward the two of them were, the morning proceeded normally. Just as his experience had been after waking up next to Hakkai after he'd drunken himself into a stupor that fateful night, it was eerie how things could seem the same but be so different. Gojyo was still annoying when he argued with Goku, still annoying when he stared too long at a passing woman, and still annoying when he grinned playfully at Hakkai. Still, Sanzo felt less of a need to hurt him for being so annoying. That was probably because he felt mellower than he had in… a long time.

The next town was days away, even in Jeep, and Sanzo was almost tempted to stay in this one a day longer so he could enjoy another night in bed. But they couldn't afford that. So they set off bright and early as usual, and travelled as far as they could that day. By the time Hakkai pulled over and they clambered off an exhausted Hakuryuu, Sanzo was feeling just as weary as his companions. All of the benefits of sleeping in a bed last night and having awesome sex with Gojyo—Sanzo blushed when he remembered it—was now gone.

"Hey Sanzo, why's your face all red?" Goku asked, peering at him suspiciously.

Hakkai spoke before he could. "Oh, perhaps a blood vessel in Sanzo's head has finally popped!"

"Yeah!" Goku shouted, laughing. He backed off when Hakkai called him over to help him prepare a fire for food.

Sanzo met all of this with his usual apathy—if you could call mild anger apathy. He found a comfortable place not too far from the fire and smoked a cigarette. Gojyo sat down, too, making small talk while waiting for the food. Sanzo ignored all of them as he stared off at the trees, deep in thought.

* * *

"Days away" turned into a full week. They kept running into pockets of youkai, which took time to defeat and time to recover from afterwards. By the time they reached town, tensions were ready to explode, and they were all looking forward to a bath and warm bed. As for Sanzo-and probably Gojyo, also-he was embarrassingly horny again. He felt like he was right back where he started two weeks ago. Sanzo finally understood some of Gojyo's behavior; to stave away that harsh need, one needed to have a steady source of sex.

To Sanzo's dismay, the "town" was extremely small; it had, at most, 20 buildings. There was one inn, which had a total of four rooms, one of which had no mattress and the other which was occupied by a homeless town drunk. The townspeople were aloof but treated them with respect, and they were soon staring into their respective rooms.

Hakkai had politely asked to share Sanzo's room, and grudgingly got it after a small fight. Together they stared at the one, queen-sized bed plunked in the middle of the room. The room was clean and tidy, but sparse. There was just one small dresser and the bed, and that was it. Hakkai tentatively stepped into the room and put their things down. "Perhaps we should clean up before dinner?" he said, acting so casual that Sanzo wanted to laugh. They were both nervous as hell to be sharing a room and A BED together. Sanzo also felt guilty for having sex with Gojyo a week ago, even with the knowledge that Hakkai wanted him, too. It had been irresistable at the time. He'd had a lot of time to think about it, and decided it was something that Hakkai didn't need to know about.

They both trekked to the bath house which offered privacy only from the opposite sex. They walked into the men's section and found that Gojyo and Goku had beaten them to it. There was a large tub in the middle of the room much like a jacuzzi, except that it wasn't bubbling. They were in the hot, steamy water, and having a water match. Somehow through a faceful of water, Goku spotted Sanzo, who returned his look of recognition with a grumpy face. It took a moment for Gojyo to stop his attack long enough to realize their other companions were here. He laughed at a drowned-looking Goku, who still managed to enthusiastically say, "Come on in, guys, it feels great!"

Sanzo and Hakkai started to disrobe. It proved to be very frustrating, however; he felt like Gojyo was probably staring at him, and he had to force himself to stare at the tiled walls rather than Hakkai. After having years of practice it shouldn't be hard, but it was somehow much harder than usual. So the monk rushed, leaving his clothes in a heap with the sutra carefully rolled up on top. He quickly got in when Gojyo and Goku seemed occupied with squirting water at each other with their fists. As long as they weren't splashing anymore, he didn't care what they did.

Hakkai carried the soap and shampoo in with him when he was done undressing. Right away, Gojyo grabbed the soap from Hakkai-who had offered it politely to anyone who wanted it first-and proceeded to fight over it with Goku.

"Settle down and shut up!" Sanzo said, smacking them both over the head with a closed hand, seeing as how he didn't have his fan. He used the chance to usurp the soap for himself and let them stare at him in disbelief as he used it. Hakkai was smiling like he genuinely thought it was funny. When he was done he handed it to Hakkai.

Gojyo was sitting across from him but mostly ignoring him as usual. Which was why, when Sanzo looked at him briefly and the kappa met his eyes and smiled, Sanzo was caught off-guard. As Sanzo watched, Gojyo leaned back and ran his hand through his wet hair, grinning the whole time. The movement showed off his bicep, muscles also rippling in his chest. Sanzo's face got redder as he remembered Gojyo beneath him. He also remembered the feeling of Gojyo's skin, the taste of his most intimate places, and felt blood rush to his groin. Luckily the water was frothy enough so that the others couldn't see.

Suddenly he noticed that Gojyo had already gone back to talking with Goku and Hakkai. Sanzo finally looked away, eyes flitting to the water, then the wall far from any of his companions.

Damn that kappa; why did he find him so appealing? It made him angry. He couldn't really justify that, though. Still, the polite, kind man beside him was more important at the moment. It was Gojyo who he'd had sex with, but it was Hakkai who had opened the possibility. Something about Hakkai's lust was...purer. And Gojyo was annoying as hell.

That firmly placed in his mind, he tuned into the conversation again. Goku was saying something annoying loud, as usual. "Is it really possible to pop a blood vessel in your head, Hakkai?"

Alarmed, Sanzo looked at Goku, who was staring at him. Hakkai answered carefully. "I suppose it is… Why do you ask?"

"Because Sanzo's popped another one!"

"I did not, stupid monkey," Sanzo grumbled.

"Ah, perhaps the heat of the bath is getting to him. It's getting to me, too. Perhaps we should get out?"

"Aww, man! But I wannta stay!"

"No, Goku. Staying in this heat is not good for one's health."

"I feel fine," he said, grumbling, but got out anyway. Sanzo was still looking at him, sort of lost in thought, and then found himself looking at a wet, naked...young man. His muscles were defined, his skin rich from the sun. So unlike the small, pale, seemingly fragile boy he'd first met. His hair was short too; it stuck up despite being wet, pushed up by the diadem. His skin and the golden limiter glistened in the dim light coming in through the one window. As he ran after Hakkai and took a towel, water flew everywhere. Sanzo's eyes inexorably followed him, drawn to the sight. Goku's firm buttocks were practically waving in his face as he bent down, drying off his legs. Sanzo felt his face get hotter, his mouth water. He took a deep breath and forced his gaze away. Humiliated by his thoughts, he wanted to suddenly jump into an ice-cold river; anything but this heat. He slumped in the water, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Didn't know you were into kids," Gojyo whispered quietly, so the others couldn't hear. He was so quiet about it took a few seconds for Sanzo to understand what he said. Even when he did, Sanzo wasn't sure if he should answer. He did, anyway, just as quietly. "He isn't a kid… anymore."

"I'm glad ya finally noticed, baldy." Sanzo could hear the amusement in Gojyo's voice and imagined him grinning.

When he looked up he found he was right. However, unlike his imagination, Gojyo was sprawled out, taking up the space Goku had just occupied moments before, which meant he was a lot closer to Sanzo now. Then Sanzo felt something touch his inner thigh and nearly bolted out of the water until he recognized the 'thing' was the pad and toes of a foot. The water stirred from his reflexive flinch.

Sanzo looked at Gojyo in disbelief. The other two were still getting dressed not a few feet from the both of them. That didn't stop the foot from firmly sliding up and pressing against Sanzo's erection. Gojyo met his eyes with a smug, triumphant look.

"You so totally have the hots for Goku," he whispered over the hissing water.

"For your information," Sanzo choked out, trying to resist showing how much the feeling of something sliding so surely over his dick affected him, "it was you."

Gojyo pressed more firmly and Sanzo flinched, head going slightly back. He tried to school his body into remaining stiffly where he was, in case he drew the other's attention.

"Sanzo, Gojyo?" Hakkai asked from the other side of the room. "Aren't you getting out, too?"

Sanzo couldn't find his voice. Gojyo never stopped the footjob, even as he said, "Eh, I like it in here. I can last longer than the ape," he said this with an annoying wiggling of his eyebrows, "and when's the next time we'll get to do this? I'll be right after you guys."

"Alright... Sanzo?" Hakkai sounded puzzled.

It would seem weird that he'd stay alone with Gojyo. But Sanzo didn't have a choice. He managed out, "Same," gruffly, trying not to let his voice go to a higher pitch when Gojyo thrust his foot just right.

"Alright," Hakkai said. Sanzo could pick out the puzzlement in his voice, but he didn't sound as if he had detected that Gojyo was currently molesting Sanzo.

The pair left, Goku skipping around Hakkai detailing all the food he was planning to eat.

Once they left, Sanzo lifted Gojyo's foot away and dove through the water separating them, landing roughly on Gojyo. He crushed his lips to Gojyo's heatedly, digging his tongue between those infuriating lips. They both moaned into the kiss as Sanzo sat down on Gojyo's lap, which put their erections against each other. Sanzo began rocking his hips back and forth, tugging on Gojyo's long hair as he did so. He broke their kiss, and with Gojyo's head properly pulled back, put his lips to Gojyo's neck. Moans egged him on as he licked and nipped at the sensitive flesh near his ear.

"Oh yeah," Gojyo groaned, guiding Sanzo's hips with both hands. "Fuck me right here, right now."

Sanzo's grip in his hair tightened and he pressed forward harsher, increasing the pace of his thrusts. "No," he grunted.

"God." Gojyo hissed, squeezing Sanzo's hips. "Why not?"

"Someone could walk in any time. Just—nnn!—quick."

"Fuck, fine, we could find someplace else!"

"No," Sanzo retorted, tugging sharply on his hair.

"Damn, shit-head monk!"

Still, Gojyo's hips rolled to meet his, and Sanzo let his hair go, instead grasping his shoulders as he undulated on top of him. Gojyo met each thrust and soon, due to the almost perfect friction created by the water, they were close to release. The water splashed and sloshed wildly as their frenzy increased, and Gojyo felt his orgasm get close. He staved it off, wanting to come with Sanzo. By his quick breathing and stuttering movements, he was close, too.

And then Sanzo groaned loudly, coming, and Gojyo followed him with a cry of pleasure. They thrust against each other a few more times before going still, panting. Sanzo laid on top of him for a few seconds, feeling relaxed.

Sanzo moved first, dismounting and moving for the edge of the bath. Gojyo sat still a moment longer, trying to make sense of their short disagreement. He wasn't used to being denied, well, anything, during sex. Leave it up to the monk to do that. "So," he drawled as Sanzo patted himself dry with a towel. "Mind telling me why you don't want to fuck?"

Sanzo grunted in response, bending down to get his clothing.

"What kind of an answer is that?" Sanzo heard him getting out of the bath. He continued to ignore him, however.

"Ya tired of sex already?" Gojyo joked, coming up a few feet behind him and standing there, dripping on the floor. Sanzo spared him a glance, noticing he was still hard as he stood with his hands on his hips. Oh, Sanzo knew what Gojyo meant; there was a hidden "with me" in that question.

"Honestly? Yes," Sanzo lied coldly, zipping up his jeans.

Gojyo opened his mouth, probably to make another seemingly flippant yet emotionally-charged comment, but Sanzo stopped him short. "And before you ask anymore stupid questions, the answer is the same."

This was met with stunned silence, as he had thought it would. After a moment Gojyo slowly moved away and started to get dressed. Sanzo felt a pang of regret. He wondered to himself briefly why he was being so cold, but he couldn't help it. The temptation that was Gojyo made him mad, not with Gojyo so much as with himself for giving in.

As he settled the sutra on his shoulders, he looked at Gojyo getting dressed, still moving like he had arthritis. He wondered if he should apologize. The idea died immediately. If his pride would let him, he still wouldn't know how. It was Gojyo's own fault for being so stupid that he couldn't tell Sanzo was lying. Who had thrown himself onto the other? Sanzo. Who'd kissed the other first? Sanzo. Only a moron would believe it.

Hoping that Gojyo would figure that out for himself—tough chance—he left.

* * *

Dinner was unusually awkward. Gojyo was quiet, picking at his food, even letting Goku steal things off his plate. Sanzo was staring at his rice like it had the secret to the universe. Goku was obviously distressed by the other two's behavior and was making up for it by being extra loud and obnoxious. Hakkai ate quietly, wondering what had happened.

Perhaps the two of them had stayed behind so that they could speak privately? What had they said? The thought that something had 'happened' between them, something sexual, crossed the healer's mind, but he discarded it immediately. Gojyo's heterosexual tendency was etched extremely deep in Hakkai's mind. Sanzo also seemed too aloof for anything to start between them. Hakkai had to practically force it on him before.

The memory of kissing Sanzo, the tang of his cigarettes, their tongues sliding together, the smell of his arousal in the crisp forest air… Hakkai felt his face burn and he also began to study his food. It took a few minutes for him to cool off enough to be able to look at Goku with his trademark small smile and offer him some of his food.

Goku was glaring at Gojyo by this point, thinking he'd done something to Sanzo. Hakkai tried to distract him with the meal laid out on the table, but failed. He'd always placed Sanzo above food, after all. This was bad. Goku and Gojyo were rooming together tonight. Above all, Hakkai wanted to actually get to spend some time alone with Sanzo without the others busting down the door.

Finally, Goku spoke up, glaring at Gojyo. "What'd you do to Sanzo?"

"Goku—" Hakkai started, but Gojyo gave him a look. He faced Goku and opened his mouth.

"Nothing," interrupted Sanzo."Mind your own business, monkey."

"Wha—? But Sanzo!"

"Shut up and mind your own business!" Sanzo growled, finally abandoning his plate of food and storming off.

Gojyo turned to watch Sanzo disappear through the doorway, face screwed up in puzzlement...and hurt. Only Hakkai probably knew him well enough to pick out the hurt in his expression. Goku turned to Gojyo once he was gone. "You better say sorry ta him for whatever ya did! He's pissed!"

"Me? He's the one that ought to say sorry!" Gojyo yelled back, angry. He stood up so fast he almost upended his chair, then headed off to the exit. Goku jumped up, growling. Hakkai rested a hand on his arm, an imploring expression on his face as he said, "Please, Goku, you heard Sanzo. This is between them. They'll have to sort it out themselves. Don't make things worse."

Goku pouted, sitting back down and avoiding Hakkai's gaze.

"Please eat, Goku."

"M'not hungry!"

"But Goku, how can you let this food go to waste? It appears that no one else is very hungry this evening."

Goku didn't look happy but did resume eating. Hakkai made an attempt at eating the rest of his plate, but eventually his anxiety over Sanzo and Gojyo took over.

He excused himself from the table and followed in the direction that Gojyo had gone. It was usually easy to find Gojyo because of his long red hair; he usually only had to ask one person where he'd gone to. In this case an old woman pointed him in the right direction and he thanked her before walking to the bar across the street. Inside, he joined Gojyo at the bar, sitting on the stool beside him. He only requested water from the bartender, getting the evil eye for it, but ignored that in favor of turning to his friend.

"Gojyo," he said quietly. "What should Sanzo apologize for?"

"Nothing, 'Kai."

"Quite obviously." His cheerful tone belied the sarcasm.

"Man, I dunno, he just made a fool out of me. I guess."

"I see." Hakkai responded, sounding agreeable. But he actually didn't; usually he could tell what Gojyo was thinking, even with vague answers like that. But not tonight. He placed a hand on Gojyo's shoulder and waited for Gojyo to look at him. The pain was still there in his eyes. "Gojyo..." he said pityingly; he hated to see his friend feeling like this. "You know how Sanzo is. You can't take anything he says, or does, to heart."

Gojyo sighed and looked back at the empty glass in his hand. "You're probably right 'Kai. Can you give me some time to think?"  _Alone_.

"Of course. Promise me you won't stay out too late tonight, though. We'll be leaving early in the morning."

"Okay…"

Hakkai patted him reassuringly. Not feeling any better about things, and perhaps even more confused than before, he got up reluctantly. He hoped that Gojyo would forgive whatever Sanzo had done. Things were already stressful enough for Hakkai, knowing he would have to sleep with Sanzo in the same bed tonight. In the same respect, Goku and Gojyo sleeping in the same bed was bound to be difficult this evening. He was sort of hoping that Gojyo would stay out late for that very reason, despite his words; he did NOT want to be disturbed.

Only one last look at the lonely figure of Gojyo, and he left the bar. As he walked back into the inn and toward the stairs, he felt butterflies weighing down his stomach. What gave him the right to have plans for his night in bed with Sanzo he didn't know. But it was up to him to grasp happiness wherever he found it. After having a revelation as Sanzo walked away into the dark forest, leaving him behind in the car, Hakkai had instinctively known what he had to do. And that was what it was; instinct. He'd done everything on a whim, but he hadn't regretted it since, not once. Sanzo had even seemed  _disappointed_  the last time they'd had a chance to share a room.

His thoughts aided him in reaching the door to the bedroom he was sharing with Sanzo. Of its own accord, his hand moved to clutch the doorknob. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, then entered. Hakuryu was already curled up at the bottom of the bed. Sanzo was lying on the bed reading, his robes bunched around his waist. He was mostly obscured by the newspaper.

Hakkai approached and sat down at the foot of the bed, closer to Sanzo than he'd normally get. "Sanzo," he cajoled lightly, hoping the calm tone would keep Sanzo from exploding at being interrupted. Sanzo grunted, not even sparing him a glance. Hakkai made do with what he was given. "Goku and Gojyo argued after you left."

After a moment of silence, Sanzo said, "Get to the point."

"Well, they are sleeping in the same bed, just as we are. I do not think it wise to keep them together if they are going to argue."

Sanzo lowered the paper and glared at Hakkai. "And why should I care?"

Hakkai smiled lightly as he pulled the monocle off of his nose and tucked it into his pocket. Then he lightly grabbed the edge of the paper in Sanzo's hands. He tugged until Sanzo let go, and he put it on the bed beside them, out of the way. Then he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves with Sanzo staring at him, as if in anticipation.

Hakkai knew he'd have to go directly for what he wanted, just like he'd done all those days ago. He crawled over Sanzo and put his face dangerously close to his, looked him in the eye, and breathlessly said, "Because I do not want to be disturbed tonight."

Sanzo stared back at him seriously, but a light pink spread through his cheeks.  _He can really be so cute sometimes_ , Hakkai thought and smiled. When Sanzo looked uncertain of what to do, he sat down, being sure not to rest his full weight on Sanzo's legs. This freed his hands, which he used to grasp Sanzo's glasses and delicately pull them off. Sanzo's eyelids fluttered. Hakkai leaned close again. He put his fingers lightly on Sanzo's face near his ear and placed a small, chaste kiss on Sanzo's mouth. When he withdrew, he whispered against Sanzo's mouth, "Would you please go placate Goku?"

Sanzo's lips had been so warm and pliant. Hakkai couldn't resist kissing him again. This time Sanzo cupped the back of his neck, and pushed his face up toward Hakkai. If that was his way of saying 'yes', that was fine with Hakkai, who moaned appreciatively. Their kiss deepened, and soon their tongues were exploring furiously. It was similar to the night when they'd first kissed, but less awkward. It was Sanzo who broke the kiss this time, pushing Hakkai away.

"Fine," he said gruffly, voice thick with lust, making it deeper than usual. Hakkai sighed with pleasure at hearing both the acquiescence and that husky voice. He dismounted Sanzo and the bed to stand to allow Sanzo to get up, which he quickly did. Sanzo hurried to the door, wrenched it open, and didn't bother closing it. Hakkai heard him pound on Goku's door with a fist. The faint sound of a door being opened followed by talking told Hakkai Sanzo was doing what he'd asked. It was good that Goku had returned to his room; less time for Sanzo to have to hunt him down. Their conversation sounded calm, though he couldn't hear what was being said.

Well, he was glad that went so smoothly. As he waited for Sanzo to return he reorganized the room a bit to better suit the activity he wanted to partake in. He folded up Sanzo's newspaper and put it and his glasses on the dresser. Then he took his monocle from his pocket and put it there, too. Hakaryuu was sleeping on his bedclothes where he had them on his side of the bed. Hakkai spoke to him gently as he scooped up the small, warm form and put the bundle beside everything else. The little dragon just cooed and went back to sleep immediately.

He smoothed the wrinkled sheets and stared at the neat, empty bed. Not willing to dwell on, well, anything, he walked to the door. It was at that moment that Sanzo came back, closing the door behind him. Hakkai asked, "How did it go?" Sanzo walked over to the bed and sat down. Hakkai subtly locked the door when his back was turned.

Sanzo replied, "I told the monkey we sorted it out and for him to stop acting like a brat."

Hakkai kept smiling and shook his head, slightly amused, as he also walked over to the bed. It was doubtful Sanzo had said it in such a way to Goku; he was sometimes surprisingly gentle with the kid when they were alone.

Two weeks ago he would have sat on his own side of the bed and kept himself entertained with a book. Not now, however, so he sat down beside Sanzo, who was looking at his newspaper sitting on the dresser. Upon entering the room Sanzo had noticed that the bed was clear of their things, including Hakkai's nightclothes, even though he usually had them laid out from the moment they unpacked.

"Won't you need those to get ready for bed?" Sanzo asked, feigning disinterest yet obviously pointing at the bundle of clothes with a dragon on it. Hakkai was amused by Sanzo's nervousness. He responded, "It's still a few hours until bedtime."

Sanzo grunted an acknowledgment. "What are you going to do to kill the time?"

Hakkai heard the implied 'we' in that statement. He looked at Sanzo directly with a serious expression. Sanzo glanced at him, but was unable to keep his eyes there. He was really nervous. Hakkai couldn't help but run a forefinger down the side of Sanzo's face. "Oh, I was thinking I could follow that lovely dinner with some dessert."

Hakkai's sensitive ears picked up on the increased pace of Sanzo's breathing. He had always had good hearing, but since becoming a youkai he had noticed, even with the limiters, that he could pick up on the smallest things. When he took off his limiters, his senses were even more acute. He became the predator, the hunter; he could hear a heartbeat from a few feet away, smell his prey—people, he corrected himself—on the wind. It came in handy now as he began to smell Sanzo's arousal at his words, hear his breath quicken, see the little twitches that gave Sanzo's nervousness and lust away.

Hakkai heard Sanzo's lips part and found himself staring at those full lips as they moved. "What kind of dessert?" Sanzo glared directly into Hakkai's eyes. When he did, he saw the rather creepy smile on the other's face, and the light in Hakkai's eyes. He noticed, not for the first time, that brilliant green. They leaned toward each other until their lips met. Hakkai could not stop himself from tackling Sanzo to the bed, lying on him as he ran his fingers through gold strands. Sanzo held the back of his neck again, but this time began running his fingertips lightly over the skin there. Hakkai shivered at the delicate touch, which sent pleasant tingles down his spine. He probed Sanzo's mouth with his tongue, enjoying the taste of him, enjoying the wet warmth there. He felt his penis engorge as the monk grazed his nails over the nape of his neck, and respond with his tongue in kind. The youkai gripped Sanzo's hair tighter in loose fists and began to rub their groins together at an even tempo. He could feel Sanzo was rock hard already, making him moan desperately into the other's pliant mouth. He continued to hump the blonde beneath him as he withdrew his mouth. Sanzo whimpered at the loss, but moaned as Hakkai began making his way down his jaw, then his neck, sucking at sensitive flesh anywhere he found it.

One hand was used as a prop so Hakkai was not lying heavily on the monk, while the other hand let go of Sanzo's hair to run over Sanzo's body. He felt over the silky skin covering hard muscles on Sanzo's upper arm, enjoying the masculine curves, before slowly exploring Sanzo's side through his shirt, all the while licking and sucking on his neck. When he reached the bottom hem, he snaked his fingers underneath, moaning at the feeling of Sanzo's soft flesh. Sanzo was panting hard, pulse racing under Hakkai's mouth. Hakkai didn't realize he'd nipped him until Sanzo flinched. His blood surged beneath Hakkai's teeth. Hakkai withdrew slightly as he smelled the tang of arousal and the new smell of…fear?

He felt the pleasure in his stomach melt into a hard ball he recognized as guilt, anger, and frustration. He swallowed hard and stopped the slow undulation of his hips. Sanzo clutched the back of his neck hard, growling.

Hakkai let go completely and rose up, breathing hard. It took all of his willpower to rise away from Sanzo now, but he felt so sick to his stomach at the thought that Sanzo might not want this after all. That perhaps he was afraid of him, and felt like he didn't have a choice. Suddenly he remembered the feeling of Sanzo's come dribbling over his hand, the smell of it in the clean forest air. Even so…

He pushed off the bed until he was standing, if wobbly, before collapsing back onto the bed beside Sanzo. For a moment he sat numbly, then put his face in his hands with his elbows digging into his thighs. Sanzo sat up slowly before hesitantly touching his shoulder; the touch was so light, Hakkai found himself choking back a sob. That was unlike Sanzo. All of this was unlike Sanzo.

"What?" Sanzo demanded. His voice was not as gentle as his touch. Hakkai shook his head, keeping his hands plastered to his face.

"What?" Sanzo demanded again, pulling at Hakkai's wrist and clutching his shoulder hard. Obstinately, Hakkai kept himself in his current position.

"I just can't—!" Hakkai said past his palms.

Hakkai knew Sanzo would be mad. Knew that he'd misinterpret this. But he felt like he might throw up.

He was a monster.

Sanzo angrily let go, but did not get up from the bed, did not storm away, like Hakkai thought he would. Instead, he sat for a moment, taking calming breaths. For a minute while Hakkai attempted not to cry, Sanzo calmed himself down. He wrapped his arms awkwardly around Hakkai and rested his forehead on the other's shoulder. "Tell me," Sanzo whispered.

The unexpected comforting gesture, so very unlike Sanzo, broke what little was left of Hakkai's control on his emotions. "Sanzo," Hakkai sobbed. "I have killed so many... I shouldn't be touching you. I'm a monster—"

"You are not," Sanzo said fiercely, holding him tighter. Hakkai's protest was murdered by a dry chuckle, completely lacking mirth, coughing slightly as his crying choked his throat. "You don't know me for what I truly am. You weren't there, you didn't see what I did. How can you have so much faith in me?"

Sanzo shifted, sitting closer to Hakkai, and raised his head to better look at the other. He snuck a hand under Hakkai's guarding hands and lightly touched Hakkai's chin. Hakkai responded by easing his grip on his face so that he could turn into the touch. Sanzo whispered into the youkai's ear, "No, I was not there. But I do know you, after all these years, and I pride myself on being a good judge of character. I've said it before: I trust you." When Hakkai didn't respond, he continued. "Hakkai, you are NOT a monster. ...If you are, I'm an even worse one."

Hakkai looked at him, startled. Sanzo's face was set so serious, so sure of himself, that Hakkai felt the ball of guilt and everything else loosen. But not completely. "But—but, I'm—I feel like I'm forcing you."

Obviously Sanzo did not expect those words. He snorted derisively. "Really, 'Kai? You think you could?"

That sneer made Hakkai smile sheepishly. He lowered his head before he said, "But you—I could tell—you were afraid."

Sanzo went still. There was an awkward pause, before he grunted, "I am not afraid of you."

Hakkai smiled wider, blinking out the tears from his eyes. He quickly flicked them away as he sighed and said, "Your mouth may lie, but your body does not. You're afraid of me."

"I am not!" Sanzo growled, using the loosened grip on Hakkai's chin to turn his face toward his forcefully. He pressed a hard kiss to Hakkai's stiff lips, before growling again, "I am not."

"Sanzo—"

"I am not. End of story. Now come here." They kissed again, this time Hakkai kissing back more easily.

How Sanzo always managed to soothe his soul was a mystery. It was like he polished out all the imperfections, showing him they weren't actually flaws. An intensity ran through Hakkai's body and he clutched at Sanzo, deepening the kiss.

This time it was Sanzo who tackled him to the bed, though he did it less gracefully. Hakkai didn't care. The guilt was still there, would probably never go away, but it was no longer guilt over forcing Sanzo. He felt so relieved and elated that Sanzo wanted this. He gratefully closed his eyes as Sanzo kissed him again and again.

When Sanzo finally stopped frantically kissing him, Hakkai mumbled, "My apologies for that..."

Sanzo sighed into his face. Hakkai closed his eyes and breathed it in. He felt the next whispered words on his face, too. "Maybe I was a little…startled, by the…biting, but I liked it." Hakkai opened his eyes and looked at Sanzo's face. He was blushing heavily now, breathing hard. A surge of elation swept through Hakkai, and he whispered, "It doesn't matter that I'm a youkai?"

"No," Sanzo said firmly and loud. His mouth twitched into a smile at the happy expression on Hakkai's face. Then he harshly ground his groin down into Hakkai's. Hakkai gasped, eyes closing and body relaxing into submission. Mesmerized by that reaction, Sanzo did it again, enjoyed Hakkai groaning throatily and clutching his hips. "Oh god, Sanzo, I want you."

"Clothes. Off. Now," Sanzo demanded. They broke apart, both disrobing, practically ripping their clothes off. Hakkai attempted to fold his clothes after he was disrobed, but Sanzo growled and batted the articles of clothing from his hands onto the floor. Hakkai started to protest before Sanzo silenced him with a bruising, needy kiss. They tumbled onto the bed, lying naked, Sanzo partially on top.

Rubbing their groins together like this was ten-times better. Hakkai's face was leaning into Sanzo's chest, where he could hear the other's heart beating wildly and the air rushing in and out of his lungs. He moaned into that pale flesh and received a stuttering chest in return and arms that gripped him tighter. Hakkai reached a hand between them and fisted both cocks together. Sanzo's fingers shifted through his hair and his movements became more and more frantic against the brunette. Soon he was grunting out, "Hakkai… Nnn—I'm—I'm coming… Ahh!"

Hakkai bit down on Sanzo's shoulder as his own admission and they came together with muffled cries.

As the wave of pleasure receded, Sanzo shifted to lie on his back, pulling Hakkai with him. Hakkai gratefully lay on his chest, throwing a leg over Sanzo's. As they both recovered, Hakkai closed his eyes and ran his fingers down Sanzo's chest.

The man was pure blond all over, making his skin appear perfect and pale, especially in the dim light. However, if one was attentive enough to their sensitive fingertips, one could feel the very light bumps and raised flesh that denoted faded scars. The brunette couldn't resist kissing where he found them. Soon he was kissing and licking all over Sanzo's chest. Sanzo was already panting hard again. Hakkai found his nipple and began caressing it softly with his lips and tongue. The feeling made Sanzo squirm. "Hakkai! Ah… Stop it. That feels… strange."

Hakkai only smirked and nipped at the hardening bud. Sanzo's back arched. "Do you like it when I'm rough?" Hakkai asked quietly.

Sanzo's face turned a dark shade of red and he muttered, "What are you saying?"

Hakkai smiled and snuggled up to him, face upturned. "But I want to know what you like."

Sanzo turned his face away, obviously embarrassed. Hakkai sighed. He'd prior experience with open dialogue between his bed partner and himself, but Sanzo apparently had not. "Sanzo... Before we continue further," he began, idly petting Sanzo's chest and rubbing his leg on Sanzo's thigh. "Have you done this before...?"

"Yes."

"I see," he said, relieved and a little disappointed, too. "As you probably know, I have not been with a man before..."

"What, Gojyo never broke you in?" Sanzo asked.

Was that a joke? Hakkai chuckled, partly shaking his head and partly rubbing his cheek on Sanzo's chest. "You know how Gojyo is. He's such a ladies' man. Though it is a shame."

Sanzo grunted in a noncommittal way, but was unable to help but return the sly smile Hakkai was now giving him. Searching for a distraction, Sanzo said, "But I haven't been with a woman before."

"Ah, that makes us fairly even then, doesn't it?" Hakkai said evenly, though he was surprised. What man had Sanzo been with before...?

"Are you saying that after this I have to bed a woman?"

There was a minor pause where they both studied each other in mock seriousness, before they burst into laughter. With Sanzo it was more of a dry chuckle, but it was still nice to see him laugh. As the laughing quieted, Hakkai joked back, "Gojyo could help you!" He was rewarded with a few extra chuckles.

"Hn. Enough talk of the damn kappa," Sanzo murmured, pulling him close and kissing him. The kiss soon turned into a lewd display of mingling tongues and inappropriate groping. Both of them were getting hard again, and Hakkai pumped Sanzo's length in a fist while Sanzo gripped his ass. As Hakkai moaned into his mouth, an overwhelming feeling overtook Sanzo. He roughly threw Hakkai onto his back and got on top.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai gasped as Sanzo's fingers went immediately to the cleft of his ass. He felt a finger prod at his tight hole and moaned at the feeling. Sanzo enjoyed how it clenched and unclenched as his fingertip toyed with it. He was so tight there that there would be no slipping in even his finger without lubrication. Sanzo wanted to tell him how much he wanted him, but instead found himself saying, "Do you have any lube?" He didn't think spit would be enough.

Hakkai blushed and nodded, his gaze flitting from Sanzo's. "In my bag. I, um, purchased some on the last shopping trip." The monk kissed him furiously for this, the fire inside of him coalescing into an intense need in his groin. He forced himself away from the vulnerable body beneath him to get the lube from the bag. It was easy to find; soon he was popping the top with shaking hands and spilling a large amount over his palm. He walked back over to Hakkai while rubbing it over himself. Hakkai raised his legs up and held them by the crook of his knee.

Seeing Hakkai displayed like that almost made Sanzo plunge in just as it was. It was dim as the light from outside was fading, but it somehow made Hakkai's eyes shine brightly as he watched him come closer. He could also see the scar on his stomach prominent behind the silhouette of his erection.

With a shaky breath and an even shakier hand he slicked up Hakkai's entrance. Hakkai hissed as Sanzo's finger experimentally pressed in. Sanzo gritted at the tightness. He leaned into Hakkai and whispered in his ear, "Relax." Hakkai nodded, speechless, as Sanzo began to thrust the digit in and out. Hakkai whimpered at the odd feeling, but did not protest. He thrust it in deeper and Hakkai's lower body twitched. After an agonizing minute of this Hakkai moaned, "More…Mm—more, Sanzo!"

Without hesitation Sanzo thrust another finger inside. Hakkai cried out, "Hah! Ahh." His head thrashed, but he seemed to like it. Sanzo scissored his fingers and whispered, "Does it hurt?"

Hakkai shook his head. "No, it just feels…good… Ahh!" His muscles fluttered around his fingers as Sanzo pressed in deeper. Sanzo was panting harshly in Hakkai's ear. Hakkai thought he couldn't take all of these sensations anymore.

"I'm—I'm ready, Sanzo. Do it," Hakkai groaned. "Do it."

Hakkai couldn't possibly be ready, but who was he to deny him? Sanzo pushed himself up and carefully removed the fingers sheathed in Hakkai's tight, wet hole. Hakkai gasped in delight when Sanzo replaced them with the slick head of his cock and pushed. "Ahhh!" he cried out as Sanzo slowly sheathed himself inside. It slipped in fairly easily with the help of lube and the bit of stretching, but it was still incredibly tight and probably didn't feel very good. Sanzo stopped, panting, and put his hands on the bed to either side of Hakkai. Hakkai smiled and closed his eyes, letting his head fall back.

"God, Sanzo, move.  _Fuck me_!" Hakkai commanded breathlessly. He had used one of those tones, the kind that couldn't be denied. Sanzo found himself moving automatically, pulling out, then thrusting back in with enough force to drive himself in to the hilt. Hakkai cried out. Embarrassed at being so loud, Hakkai covered his mouth with his hand, but nodded at Sanzo, who had paused and was studying him.

"I can't hold back," Sanzo admitted, so quietly that only Hakkai would have been able to hear him.

"Mmm," Hakkai moaned through his palm, giving the blonde permission to lose control.

Lose control he did. He began pounding in, setting up a rather punishing rhythm that had Hakkai crying out desperately and thrashing, clinging to Sanzo and simultaneously pushing against him in an oddly sensual way.

They were speechless now as the pleasure built. Then suddenly Sanzo brushed Hakkai's prostate, and Hakkai came hard, biting his knuckles so he wouldn't scream. All that came out was a strangled, "Nnnngh!" The muscles twitching around his erection made Sanzo follow immediately after, coming silently and stiffly. He collapsed onto the lax body below and they lay there, a bundle of sweaty, satisfied limbs.

Eventually they separated, and, too tired to do much else, got under the covers and fell asleep.


	6. Only Live Your Life As It Is

The next morning, once Sanzo walked out of the bath house fully dressed and clean, he was confronted with a tall, lithe form with red hair and eyes. Sanzo glanced at this form as if he was disinterested. That is, until his path was blocked by it. "Move," he ordered, glaring up at the kappa.

"Not until you admit it," Gojyo gritted out, glaring back.

Slightly taken aback by the uncharacteristic threatening tone coming from the kappa, Sanzo slipped his hands into his sleeves in a very monk-like posture—though, only to make sure his gun was there—and regarded the other man. "Admit what?" he finally asked, sounding bored.

"That you're a fucking lying prick! That you actually like m— like it!"

Sanzo glared harder and tilted his head back. "Hakkai is right behind me, you know. Now out of the way."

Fuming, Gojyo stepped away, right as Hakkai emerged. "Oh, Gojyo," Hakkai said in greeting, noticing Sanzo's rigid posture and Gojyo's metaphorically raised hackles. "Did you come to take a bath before we leave, too?"

Gojyo spared him a glance and put his hands in his pockets. Some of his anger faded at the gentle healer's worried expression. "Uh, no... Was wondering where you guys were. The monkey was beggin' for breakfast and you hadn't shown up yet."

Hakkai made up for the obvious tension with an especially chipper tone, saying, "Ah, yes. Sorry. We should have left you two the card, ne, Sanzo?"

But Sanzo was already walking away. The other two followed. They found Goku, who had ordered for them. As he sheepishly rubbed his head where Sanzo had hit him upon hearing this news, he whined, "I got you rice and mayo, tho', Sanzo."

"For breakfast, ya dumb ape?" Gojyo declared, adding his own bruise to the back of Goku's head.

"HEY!" Goku yelled.

Hakkai smiled at the proceedings. It was a very normal morning. Except for the incident as they were leaving the bathhouse just now, it was almost as if nothing was different.

But last night, with Sanzo, had happened. Hakkai felt his face grow hot, and his stomach acquire butterflies. It almost seemed too good to be true. Sanzo had been so beautiful, so raw. Hakkai felt surprisingly good this morning, his mood well off enough not to notice the only slight pain in his backside. Being youkai had its uses.

"Hakkai, are you okay? Your face is kinda...red," Goku asked him, concerned. Hakkai smiled and shook his head, reassuring him, "I'm fine."

Sanzo was trying not to smirk and Gojyo was giving Hakkai a weird look. Hakkai returned his look with a slight shake of his head and a smile, and Gojyo shrugged.

The rest of the meal was uneventful, at least by their standards. After they paid and had everything in Jeep, Hakkai managed to get Sanzo alone for a brief enough second to whisper, "Sanzo, I don't care what you have to do, but you'd better make up for whatever happened between you and Gojyo—or I will have to room with someone else." He walked away, not waiting for the monk's reaction. As the dragon-car started with the familiar "purr", Sanzo got in without the usual shouts for the two idiots to hurry up.

Sanzo took the threat to heart. Not that he cared, but he chanced a glance in the side mirror at Gojyo and felt that weird pang of regret again. The hanyou's face was tight, his gaze unfocused. As the tires crunched and they rolled away, Sanzo figured that Hakkai had a point.

* * *

"So we have one good fuck and you start following me around like a horny version of the monkey, is that it?" Sanzo stated.

Gojyo stared at Sanzo with his mouth slightly open. The cigarette in his mouth almost fell out until he grabbed it with his thumb and forefinger. They were standing in the forest, Hakkai having sent Sanzo and Gojyo for water in the nearby stream. Quite unlike Sanzo to agree to do anything resembling a chore, but then Gojyo had noticed Hakkai looking between him and Sanzo over the past two days. His expression had always been unreadable, but Gojyo could tell Hakkai knew something serious was going on. Obviously he'd had a talk with Sanzo about it, or something.

"Well?" Sanzo was looking at him with his head tilted up and off to the side like he did when he was annoyed. Gojyo licked his lips and shifted around uncomfortably for a moment before a grin broke out on his face and he said, "You bet your ass I'm good!"

Sanzo closed his eyes and sighed, "You know that wasn't my point."

"Yeah, well." Still smiling, Gojyo let the cigarette fall to the ground and stomped it out with his boot. He walked down the bank of the river until he was a little past Sanzo. Sanzo had gone still when he approached, but when Gojyo moved past, he turned stiffly and continued to stare at the redhead like he was dung stuck to his sandals.

As Gojyo bent down to get some water in the canteen he held, Sanzo unceremoniously kicked him in the rear. He went face-first into the river, hitting the muddy bottom before he knew what was happening. Leaping back out of the cold, swirling water, he sputtered and yelled, "What was that for!" He pushed back with his feet and managed to get as far back from the bank as he could given the time, water dripping everywhere. "You know I can't swim, asshole!" he continued to shout, glaring up at Sanzo as he wiped the grit off his face with his jacket sleeve. It was then he realized that Sanzo was way too close, crouched beside him. When their eyes met Sanzo grabbed a fistful of his wet shirt and yanked him up until his own robes were soaked.

Frozen from shock, Gojyo was as limp as a soggy noodle as Sanzo's face got abruptly closer. Sanzo's other hand grabbed Gojyo by the hair and held his head where he wanted it. Then he was pressing his warm, soft lips to the kappa's.

Gojyo made a startled, muffled sound, but automatically clutched at the man holding him a few inches off the ground. Old reflexes came into play, and he was soon kissing Sanzo back, passionately tasting his mouth and lips, unconcerned for the moment about what had brought this on. The kiss was relatively short since Sanzo wasn't going to hold him up all day. Their mouths were forcefully removed from one another when Sanzo unclenched his hands. Gojyo fell back on his rump with a thud and a, "Dammit!" at the dull pain.

Sanzo stood, and Gojyo was left to sit there in the sand breathing hard. Sanzo's eyes were in shadow, but Gojyo knew he was looking at him. And he was smirking. "Does that answer your question?" Sanzo said, voice haughty and yet warm, somehow. It was a definite contrast to the rough way he'd just been treating the redhead.

Gojyo was now really, really confused. All he could think to say was, "...huh?"

Sanzo just kept smiling in a rather creepily smug way. He said, "You asked a question. Back in the bathhouse. Was _that_  a good enough answer for you?"

Gojyo's mind was reeling, but he forced it to riffle through his memories for what the hell Sanzo was talking about. Actually, it came easily; it was always on his mind. He winced as he heard again the cold way Sanzo had rejected him. Then, it clicked. "O-oh..." he said, speechless. He got up and brushed himself off, though his effort was completely wasted. His hands were more muddy than the rest of him. In fact, he'd gotten some of it on Sanzo's robes from when he'd grabbed him back. He really hoped Sanzo wouldn't notice until later.

"Um..." he said, but Sanzo turned away and began walking back to camp. Gojyo looked around for a second before realizing that he'd completely lost the water container. By now it was probably way downstream. "...Shit, Hakkai is going to be pissed," he said, laughing to himself before getting up and following Sanzo.

Once they were within the veil of trees, Sanzo whirled on him. Gojyo had a long, fast stride and had easily caught up, so he was right behind him. He tensed up when Sanzo came flying at him, but complied amiably enough when he felt Sanzo's fingers working their way through his slightly damp hair. Sanzo turned his face up at him, and Gojyo couldn't resist leaning down and kissing him. He hummed when Sanzo opened his mouth immediately and they began exploring each other's mouths.

Their hands also started wandering. Gojyo hated how thick Sanzo's robes were; he was hardly able to feel through them at all. For Sanzo's part, he was having fun peeling up the damp cloth from Gojyo's toned upper body. He would never say it aloud and risk filling the kappa's head with anymore nonsense, but he really did have a very nice body. The fact he wasn't ashamed to show it off to just about anybody had always driven Sanzo crazy mad. Thinking about it now had him backing Gojyo against a nearby tree, stabbing the other's tongue with his own rather aggressively.

Then he laid biting kisses down Gojyo's throat, licking at the droplets of water that fell from his ruby-red hair. He found a sensitive spot and Gojyo moaned, "San—", before bucking his groin into him. Teasing at it more, Sanzo groaned into his skin, "Quickly."

Soon Gojyo found two gun-callused hands shoved down into his jeans and boxers. He flinched as they stroked hungrily at his rapidly hardening, sensitive cock. "Nnn god, Sanzo," he groaned, now panting heavily. "What's the rush, babe?" (He didn't expect a response, and didn't get one.) He thrust at those insistent hands digging into his clothes as he tried to make out which way was up and down with Sanzo's goddamn robes. He didn't succeed very well, only managing to get up the billowy sleeves to stroke at the otherwise bare part of Sanzo's arms.

By this time Sanzo had already undone Gojyo's pants and was stroking Gojyo's rather impressive erection. "Fuck yeah," Gojyo whispered in encouragement. "Heh, I haven't gotten off since... ah yeah." He seemed to forget what he was saying as Sanzo's fingertips found his balls. Then he tried to continue. "Um, since... god, Sanzo..." He hissed as Sanzo's thumb rubbed the slit of his cock.

"Since the bathhouse?" Sanzo whispered back, his voice rough from lust. Gojyo's head fell back against the tree, not even feeling it when the bark pressed into his scalp. When Sanzo spoke so quietly and so close to him, he could probably make him do anything. Gojyo felt giddy.

"Yeah," he responded, clutching at Sanzo's back over the silky tanktop.

Sanzo bit at his neck again and Gojyo felt precum leaking down his erection, lubing up Sanzo's rough, tugging hands. Sanzo whispered in his ear, "Why didn't you just find a woman after I rejected you?"

"I didn't want a fuckin' woman," Gojyo said back, voice shaking. Maybe he was hanging around Sanzo too much, because that was all he could say. The implication was obvious, though.

Sanzo groaned and stopped doublefisting Gojyo's cock. Gojyo groaned back, practically sobbing at the loss of friction. Had he upset the monk somehow? He opened his eyes, eyes he hadn't noticed he'd closed, and watched in silent awe as he saw Sanzo drop to his knees. "San—!" Gojyo cried out, choking on the other's name as he felt hot breath on his erection.

"Quickly," Sanzo repeated, insistent as ever. His fingers went to stroke Gojyo's damp stomach, feeling his washboard abs moving as Gojyo breathed and shuddered from what Sanzo was about to do. Gojyo could only watch, speechless, as Sanzo licked at the head, obviously tasting it, so much like he'd done the first night. Gojyo stood still with his back against the tree, partly because of his disbelief and partly because he didn't want to do anything that would cause Sanzo to stop.

He couldn't smother the gasps and moans, however, and they seemed loud to his ears in the quiet forest. Then the blonde's lips settled over his throbbing hardon, sucking as his head slid forward, and all concern for that was gone. Gojyo, still watching, found it so erotic a sight that he ended up hunched over and gasping. Sanzo didn't allow him any time to recover, and began sucking hard, bobbing his head fast. "Oh fuck!" Gojyo choked out, almost falling. Sanzo held his hips in place, and Gojyo forced his body upright, falling back against the tree. His body began to shiver, hips thrusting into Sanzo's hot, willing mouth. "Sanzo," Gojyo whispered, gritting his teeth. "I'm gonna come!"

Sanzo sucked harder. Gojyo felt all blood leave his head, cock sending shooting jolts of pleasure up his spine. Then Sanzo lightly stroked his balls, and that was it. He exploded in Sanzo's mouth, thrusting as waves of pleasure overtook his senses. When it was over his legs turned to jelly and he slid down the tree. The bark dug into his back, so he was forced to use his hands to lower himself gently to the ground, where he sat trying to recover. He looked at Sanzo, his half-hard cock twitching at the sight.

Sanzo, the cold and aloof bastard, had a beet-red face, swollen lips, and cum dribbling out of the corner of his mouth. His robes were soiled where Gojyo had grabbed him earlier, and he was kneeling in the leaf-strewn forest floor. He brought his fingers up to wipe at the cum on his chin, breathing hard, eyes half shuttered and glazed over.

"That—that was awesome, Sanzo," Gojyo said, giving him his best smile. Sanzo's dark lilac eyes focused and he grunted in a non-committal way. Licking his lips, he stood with the help of his hands on the ground. He dusted off his knees and glanced disapprovingly at the now numerous stains on his robes. Gojyo's smile turned sheepish when he got an accusing glare, but that soon faded into surprise when Sanzo just... walked away.

Gojyo hurriedly did up his pants and ran after him, catching him before he got too close to their camp. "Hey, what about you?" Gojyo said with a hand on the monk's shoulder, stopping him.

Sanzo didn't turn around, just shrugged his hand off and said, "No time."

"But—" Gojyo sputtered, clutching at him again and trying to get Sanzo to look at him.

Finally Sanzo did, eyes glinting like cold jewels, but his mouth was quirked in what could function as a smile (though it was more like he was amused). "Just be prepared to pay me back double the next time," Sanzo cautioned.

Gojyo let go and felt his face get hot. He put his hands in his pockets and kicked at a stick lying near him. "Yeah," he said, sounding embarrassed. He took his time following Sanzo back into the camp. He was greeted by a cheery fire and Hakkai, looking at him expectantly.

"Sorry, 'Kai, I lost the canteen," he said, trying to dispel all traces of his embarrassment from a moment before.

"Oh," Hakkai said, blinking at his wet hair and shirt. "Well, no worries. We already have some water." With that he motioned at a few plastic water bottles, unopened, sitting neatly together next to some of their other provisions. Gojyo gritted his teeth, realizing he'd been played.

"Just fucking great!" he growled, throwing up his hands and plunking down next to the fire so he could get dry.

"What are you lookin' at?" he yelled at Goku, who had paused with a fork in his mouth. Gojyo noticed without amusement that it looked like the two had started dinner without them.

"Why're you all wet?" Goku asked, unfazed by Gojyo's anger.

"Sanzo fuckin' pushed me into the river," Gojyo replied angrily. He looked at Sanzo and tried to appear like he was still mad about that. It wasn't too hard since all he got out of Sanzo after his declaration was Sanzo calmly smoking. He pulled more smoke into his lungs, appearing completely calm and much like he always was—besides the stains. Gojyo felt a blush creep up his neck when he remembered that completely uncharacteristic, post-blowjob face. Okay, he totally wasn't angry.

Goku laughed, until he made a choking noise. "What's with your face? How come everybody's popping blood vessels in their heads!" Goku shouted. Gojyo, embarrassed, retaliated by stealing his food. An argument ensued.

Hakkai smiled as he looked at Sanzo. It was one of those masking, scary smiles, the one that said, 'I'll eat you alive if you disappoint me.' Sanzo noticed it but waited patiently for Hakkai to say, "I assume it's all worked out, however?"

Sanzo licked his lips and said, "Yeah." Then he put the cigarette back in his mouth and that was that. Hakkai's expression gentled as he watched the monk, sparing Gojyo a glance to affirm Sanzo's story. He almost laughed when he saw how embarrassed he was acting. He assumed it was because Gojyo had been misinterpreting something Sanzo had said, just as he'd expected. He sighed, glad everything was fine again and that their odd troupe was the same as ever.


	7. Not Bound to Anything

Their lifestyle left a lot of time to think, mostly, but interspersed within the calm of their travels there were do-or-die situations. The past two weeks had been one of the latter. Every step closer to India was plagued by such troubles. This meant there had been little time to do...things.

Then, one early afternoon, they finally reached a small city. Sanzo insisted on finding a hotel immediately, and quickly escaped into his room to relax. He grabbed a newspaper and settled in. Goku bounced between eating excessively at the hotel's restaurant and playing cards with the others in Gojyo's room. Hakkai did chores when the card games ended.

Alone in his room for hours, Sanzo found that the text on the page wouldn't stay in focus. Urges, unbidden, kept his mind preoccupied, even as he pretended to read.

Not long after Sanzo had given in to both Hakkai and Gojyo's advances, he'd discovered that they shared an unusual fetish for subtle flirtation when the others wouldn't notice. He'd had a hard time remaining impassive when Gojyo gave him "looks" in the sidemirror, while Hakkai purposefully brushed his thigh during gear changes. One time it was too much: Gojyo was trying to play footsie beneath the table right as Hakkai was smiling at him, which made him choke on some rice, to his chagrin.

He realized that, even as he sat here peacefully for the first time in two weeks, that he was in the calm before the storm. All the flirting made him think that they would come to him tonight. It wasn't surprising; they all needed the release. He doubted they would be willing to go away if he told them he was tired; they would at least hang around even without sex. Kicking either of them out was sure to start a fight. Sanzo, having just settled a volatile situation right before this two-week-long fiasco, was loathe to start something new.

The problem, then, was there was a high chance of being found out by whoever came to his room second. He should have realized that would happen at some point, but it was too late now. He had maybe a few hours to figure out what to do.

First of all, they weren't aware of each other's proclivity. He'd often wondered if they were sexually involved—they had been close, closer than most people got—but it appeared neither had seriously entertained the idea. Hakkai seemed to think Gojyo was completely straight and a bit of a homophobe. In reality, the redhead was raised to be afraid of being branded a homo, even if he only dabbled with men once in a blue moon.

Gojyo thought Hakkai was asexual, or at least sworn off sex since his lover-sister died. In actuality Hakkai was raw with lust when he had someone to be with. If either of them found out what Sanzo had been up to with their best pal lately, there was a possibility that they'd react badly.

He couldn't keep it from them, either, though; it was impossible to keep secrets in their tight-knit little group. In the end they'd unearthed even his hidden urge... They always found some way to worm themselves into his business. If it was pointless to hide it, he had to find a way to make it known without causing a fall out.

A plan began to form in his mind: as much as he didn't want to talk it out, he had to let them know the situation. Might as well do it in one shot, and if they wanted to get involved with each other that was fine with him. In fact, he was mildly interested in what it would be like to have more freedom with the both of them. They would only have to hide what they were doing from Goku, which would make things a lot easier.

For dinner they went to an all-you-can-eat-buffet, which was a powerful distraction for Goku. Leaving Goku there, he told the now-suspicious duo to follow him to his room. When they got there Sanzo lit up a smoke, trying to calm his nerves. This could go very, very badly. Or, it could be one hell of a ride.

Once he had a few calming lungfuls of smoke, he sat down at the table situated not far from the bed. Gojyo and Hakkai stood awkwardly staring at him; in Hakkai's case, he was looking apprehensive, and giving Sanzo panicked 'what are you doing?' looks. How he seemed to know what the subject would be, Sanzo wasn't sure.

Gojyo had his hands in his pockets and was looking around Sanzo's lavish room, acting fakely nonchalant. Sanzo saw right through him: he was grumpy. It was easy to guess why: Sanzo had gotten the really nice room with a huge bed, while the others got the regular, smaller ones.

"What did you want to see us for, Sanzo?" Hakkai said, his hands fidgeting in front of him. Sanzo smugly enjoyed the suspense he was putting on for them, but didn't let that show. When he didn't answer immediately, Gojyo followed with, "Yeah, you don't normally act all prissy like this unless it's somethin' important."

Sanzo pretended he didn't hear that. He put his cigarette in the ashtray and stood. "Hakkai," he stated, before walking up to him familiarly. Hakkai froze like a deer in headlights; Sanzo was intimately close.

"Sanzo?" he responded. He sounded as panicked as his expression was.

Sanzo grasped his chin and pulled him into a chaste kiss. Hakkai was still frozen, too startled to do anything but stare at Sanzo and blush as he pulled away. "Sanzo, wai—" Hakkai protested before Sanzo kissed him again, this time more seriously. He held him still with a hand behind his head and arm around his waist. Hakkai squeezed his eyes shut, and found himself unable to resist kissing him back, even knowing Gojyo was standing right beside them.

"'Kai?" Gojyo asked, obviously astounded. Hakkai trembled slightly. The kappa was just gaping, as if he wasn't able to comprehend what was going on. Hakkai made a mortified sound in his throat, so Sanzo decided that was enough. The message had been obvious, even if it hadn't quite reached Gojyo's brain yet.

He pulled back, licking his lips. Then a little curl appeared at the edge of his lips, like a small smile, which seemed to startle the mortified healer even more. Hakkai wiped his mouth daintily with the edge of his shirt sleeve and stared at the floor, speechless.

"Gojyo," Sanzo said as he turned predatorily toward the taller man. Gojyo didn't resist when Sanzo pulled him down into a heated kiss. Not about to be outdone by his friends making out moments before, he passionately wrestled tongues with Sanzo.

"Gojyo?" Hakkai questioned. Gojyo flinched back when he heard his name said in such a way. The healer had sounded confused, maybe something worse mixed in. Sanzo pulled back at the same time that Gojyo did.

The conflicting emotions played across Hakkai's face as Sanzo took a step back, assessing. Flushed and confused, the best friends stared at each other, suddenly shy. It was a bit funny, and Sanzo was smiling a small smile that wouldn't go away. Somehow, this was fun. Maybe he really was a sadist.

Hakkai turned his head away first, instead choosing to watch Sanzo for some sort of explanation. Gojyo kept his gaze on Hakkai a moment longer, concerned, before raising his eyebrows at Sanzo. Sanzo picked up his cigarette from the ashtray, tapped the ashes off the tip carefully, and smoked some more. He stayed standing though, just in case.

When there was absolute silence and a fair amount of awkwardness instead of the happiness he'd expected, Sanzo got annoyed and said, "What don't you get?" waving his hand at the pair of men.

"You—with Hakkai—?" Gojyo sputtered. Any calm he'd retained during the awkwardness was suddenly gone. Hakkai looked down at the floor as if it had suddenly caught his attention.

"Finally you get it, peabrain," Sanzo admonished, dragging on his cigarette.

"What the fuck! I've been played?" Gojyo seemed to ask no one in particular and walked over to the bed, sitting down and looking aggravated.

Hakkai spoke next, apparently oblivious to Gojyo. "I see... Sanzo, if you wish to be with Gojyo, I won't interfere."

Sanzo cursed and stubbed his cigarette out. "Why does it sound like you're excluding yourself, Hakkai?" he said, glaring, waiting for green eyes to meet his. They didn't. Sanzo looked at Gojyo next, who had his forehead in his hands. "And you! Stop moping."

"Dude," Gojyo groaned. "What about..." He vaguely waved his hand before returning it to holding up his head.

Sanzo gritted out, "Both of you are fucking idiots."

Hakkai's head rose a bit and he said, "Excuse me—" defensively.

"No, shut up," Sanzo interrupted.

"I beg your pardon," Hakkai returned, frowning.

Sanzo clucked his tongue and shook his head, wondering if he should do the next part of his plan or not.

Gojyo ran his hands through his hair and glared at Sanzo. Hakkai put his version of glaring into passively angry words: "I think I get it. This is all about that tenet your master passed on to you." His tone had no warmth in it at all.

Sanzo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He grumbled, "Say what you want, but this doesn't involve my master."

Hakkai folded his arms and, aggrieved, said, "Well even so, I don't think you are being very clear with us, Sanzo. Why don't you explain?"

Sanzo took a big breath and tried to be calm. Getting angry would only make their reactions worse. There was a distinct edge to his voice, anyway, when he replied, "I want to keep fucking both of you. If you can't handle that, then you can go back to your room alone. I don't care."

"Bastard!" Gojyo stood up in a rush, ready to fight. He was in Sanzo's face in a second. "Say you're 'fucking' Hakkai again and I'll beat the shit out of you!"

Sanzo snorted.

Hakkai faked readjusting his monocle to keep his hand occupied. He wanted to slap Sanzo right now. "Gojyo, it's quite alright," he said soothingly to Gojyo without looking their way. "His words may be crass, but it's the truth."

Gojyo gaped at the blushing man behind him. "Damn, Hakkai..." He seemed to be pondering it a bit too much.

"Gojyo... Let's leave," Hakkai said, hoping to distract him.

Gojyo snapped back to reality. The anger returned to his face. "Yeah, let's," he growled and turned toward the door at the same time Hakkai did.

"Stop," Sanzo said.

That was like saying "wait" in Sanzo-speak, which both of them understood. Gojyo turned back to tell him off, but what he saw made him pause. Sanzo was pulling his shirt over his head, letting it drop from his hand after it was off. Sanzo's eyes latched onto the tall redhead, his gaze intense.

Hakkai had reached the door and had his handle on the knob. Wondering why Gojyo wasn't behind him, he also looked at Sanzo, just in time to see him begin playing with the top button of his jeans. Pretending to be unaffected, Hakkai said in a clipped tone, "Gojyo,  _let's leave_."

Sanzo popped the button out of it's hole and kept pulling the sides apart, until the zipper started to unzip itself. He said, "Why leave? I don't care if you just stand there and watch, or if you join me-I'm getting off." He looked at each of them in turn as he spoke.

Hakkai's grip tightened on the doorknob as he coldly said, "I want no part in all this."

Sanzo sneered. "We never made any promises to each other. In our line of business that's stupid." He pulled the zipper completely down.

An idea hit Hakkai like a brick to the head. He felt selfish and stupid for assuming more than what he and Sanzo had shared. His hand came off the knob a little bit. "Sanzo," he sighed at the door. "Couldn't you have told us from the start?"

Gojyo said, "Huh?" Was Hakkai becoming okay with this?

Hakkai walked over to Gojyo and put his hand on his shoulder. "He wants us both...at the same time," Hakkai clarified.

"OH!" Gojyo half-shouted. "Damn, why didn't you just say so?! What was with all this run-around crap?"

Sanzo chuckled. "You idiots," he muttered, hanging his head to hide his eyes under his bangs. That did sound like a good idea. He looked up again at the pair standing together and brushed the bangs out of his eyes. Hakkai had gone back to standing stiffly away from Gojyo. Smirking now, Sanzo said, "If you're in, Gojyo, then kiss Hakkai."

At Sanzo's words, Gojyo appraised Hakkai. Hakkai met his look. Without a word, Gojyo leaned down with his hands still in his pockets and pressed his lips to Hakkai's. It was chaste at first, until he tried to pull back, and Hakkai quickly grasped his head, tangling his fingers in red hair, and tugged him back into a more heated kiss. Pink tongues peeked from between their lips, and Gojyo moaned, "Mmm", pleasantly surprised.

While Sanzo was aroused by this display, it also made him feel... left out. Well, he couldn't complain-this was better than he had anticipated. Still watching them, he took off his pant, rolled off his gloves, and made his way to the bed. After he had lay down, relaxed and rubbing his erection, he was startled by Gojyo's harsh words of, "Let's get him!"

Before he could decide if he needed to run for his life, Gojyo had jumped on the bed, with Hakkai getting on quickly not far behind him. Gojyo grabbed the monk's head and smashed their lips together. Teeth cut into their lips harshly, and Sanzo flinched.

As the bitter taste of blood filled his mouth, he heard Hakkai say in a low tone, "It doesn't matter as long as you get off, right?" A hand wrapped around his cock, then wet heat. He moaned, surprised, into Gojyo's mouth. Breathing hard, he tried to gasp past those wicked lips, but he was smothered by a probing tongue instead. All the while, Hakkai sucked him in deep, and lightly scraped his teeth over the hard flesh.

To Sanzo's shame he whimpered. He wasn't sure if he was being attacked or if this was foreplay. Finally Gojyo let him go and he fell back onto the pillows of the bed. Gasping, breathless and aroused, Sanzo watched Hakkai's mouth work on his manhood roughly, unable to decide if he wanted to push him off or let him be.

Gojyo also looked down at Hakkai giving head and muttered curses as he hastily undid his jeans and pulled them down. He was distinctly aware that his large hard-on was not far from the action  _right there_. He began to massage himself desperately, wanting similar treatment.

But they were punishing Sanzo right now, so Gojyo closed his eyes until he could prioritize. When he opened them he glared at Sanzo, who looked a little too pleased by the blowjob he was getting. Sanzo looked up as Gojyo said, "You are a complete asshole, you know that?"

Sanzo frowned. Before he could respond, Gojyo leaned down, hands to both sides of him, and bit his nipple hard. Sanzo's back arched, but he played tough by swallowing the sound his body wanted him to make. Gojyo continued torturing his nipple and he shivered.

He tried to push him away, grunting with pain. With surprising strength, Gojyo grabbed his wrists and pushed them down to the bed. The monk struggled, not enough to disrupt Hakkai but with all his upper-body strength, yet it wasn't enough to free himself. "Fuck!" he exclaimed once he realized they had overpowered him, and they could pretty much do whatever they wanted.

To his surprise this brought him extremely close to coming. Sensing this, Hakkai rose up. Sanzo groaned quietly in dismay. The healer wiped his mouth off with dainty fingers and looked up at Gojyo leaving bite marks across Sanzo's chest. The redhead moved Sanzo's wrists above him and held them there with one hand, then pinched and twisted a nipple mercilessly between a forefinger and thumb as he licked the other.

Sanzo's face spoke volumes of his suppressed agony. He looked down at Hakkai, who had denied him an orgasm, and growled low in his throat.

Hakkai just smiled a small, wicked smile. With careful precision he undressed, leaving the clothing by the end of the bed in a neat pile. Sanzo watched with a hopeful, lusty expression. Hakkai took his time, and to Sanzo it seemed like forever.

Naked now, Hakkai asked politely, "Would you like to do the honors, Gojyo?", sounding much like he always did. Gojyo responded, half-muffled by Sanzo's chest, "Nah, you better break him in first."

Sanzo listened to this exchange in puzzlement. Well, that didn't sound good; perhaps it was time to reassert control. Seeing a possible chance to get out of the hanyou's grip, he struggled, almost freeing himself until a hand clamped down on his balls. "Ngh!" he grunted and went completely still, his worried face staring shocked at Gojyo, who just grinned back.

Hakkai reached over to the bedside table, where Sanzo had prepared bedroom items-lube, cloths for wiping-and picked up the lube.

Immobilized by the grip on his most sensitive parts, he could only watch in slight horror as Hakkai reached below his trapped balls with slick, lubed fingers. His breath stopped when he felt them poking at his entrance. The realization of what they had planned hit him full force.

"I top," he gasped out. It sounded very much like pleading, even to his own ears. Hakkai smiled down at what he was doing. "Not tonight. After this little stunt, don't you think Gojyo and I deserve a treat? In your own words, you don't care as long as you get off."

"That-" Sanzo started to shout, angry, until Gojyo's mouth muffled his. As Gojyo passionately kissed him, he could feel the cold, slick feeling of something entering him. It wasn't wholly unpleasant, in fact it didn't feel like anything at all, until it started to move. He groaned.

Surprisingly, the sensation could be mistaken as feeling good. His whole body shook as the pleasure built slowly. His legs flexed, but Hakkai was sure to keep them open so he could see what he was doing.

Suddenly the invasion increased twofold and he groaned again, panting faster and harder. Gojyo finally let go of his balls, but he didn't react to this, too engrossed in the new sensations he was feeling. Gojyo moved down, kissing him as he went, until he reached Sanzo's flagging erection, which he began licking.

It was then that Sanzo noticed his arms were free. Upon realizing this he immediately reached down to grab at the both of them blindly. He didn't know what he was doing; every ounce of willpower was down in his groin area. Everything Hakkai and Gojyo were doing was gentle and pleasurable. His panic had faded into something else; lust, he supposed.

 _I should be angry_ , he thought in wonder. This, all of this, felt so good, though.

Overwhelmed, any thoughts he had of escaping, or the realisation he was letting this happen, faded away. Gojyo rose up and Sanzo watched through half-lidded eyes as he licked his lips. His slightly rough hands grasped Sanzo's hard length and squeezed, making Sanzo pulse in his hand. As his body pleasantly twitched from their ministrations, Hakkai pushed his right leg up with one hand and pressed himself down into Sanzo.

Fingers were replaced by something else. As the something entered slowly, a burning discomfort spread out from his lower half and he threw his head back with a exclamation of "Fuck!"

Then the tingling sensation of Hakkai's chi slipped in alongside that burning, stretching sensation. A moan escaped him before he could stop it. It was a complete penetration, of both body and soul, and he'd never felt so good in his entire life. So distracting was the pleasure that he didn't notice his orgasm approaching until he'd hit its peak.

"Wow," Gojyo said, as held Sanzo's throbbing dick while it exploded all over Sanzo's chest. Once the intensity had passed, Gojyo's gentle strokes on the sensitive skin made him shiver. He wanted Gojyo to stop, but all he could muster was a strangled groan.

Luckily that was when the kappa drew back his hand. Sanzo looked up at the both of them and was stunned by what he saw. Hakkai's face was intent and seemed to practically glow, with focused, glaring eyes and a grim, tight smile that showed how much he was holding back. Exactly opposite in demeanor, Gojyo looked adamantly lascivious as he took a brief respite in his duties to torment Sanzo, handling himself feverishly.

Hakkai thrust forward and Sanzo's attention was immediately brought back to him. "Ah!" he grunted. His breath hissed as Hakkai moved within him, gently at first, then slowly increasing the tempo.

Each thrust inside evoked a bit of pain that ended with a large shockwave of pleasure that radiated out until Sanzo's whole body felt hot and sensitive. Even though he had already come, he was half-hard again already. Gojyo shuffled over the bed, rather awkwardly due to his pants wrapped around his knees, and positioned his hips over Sanzo's head.

"C'mon," he urged. "I know you can do this... Real good, too."

Hakkai huffed at this, but didn't correct his use of grammar only because he was too wrapped up in fucking Sanzo.

Sanzo was unnerved by this request and the off-putting compliment, so he glared up at Gojyo with every intention of refusing. Gojyo's sizable erection in front of his mouth made it hard to stay defiant, however. With a bit of what sounded like a pout-sigh, he wrapped his lips around the persistently nudging head. Gojyo moaned, "Ohh yeah, finally some action for the big man."

The next few minutes was a blissful mix of being fucked and sucking at a rock-hard cock in his mouth. He could feel his own erection solidly slapping his stomach as Hakkai rocked their bodies together. It wasn't long before he felt close to finishing again, but it was just barely out of reach.

Then Hakkai was coming with a wanton moan and one last deep thrust. Sanzo couldn't help the moan that escaped his own throat at the feeling of warmth spreading inside. Gojyo pulled back from his mouth.

Sanzo looked at Hakkai immediately. The healer, looking giddy, was sweaty and tousled and happy, which made Sanzo forgive him for a brief moment.

Hakkai rolled off Sanzo and languished on the bed, wallowing in the last shreds of pleasure. Gojyo took his place, after smartly taking off his pants. The larger man leaned over Sanzo, nudging him to spread open with his knees. "Looks like I've been tapped in," Gojyo said with a cocky grin.

He easily grabbed Sanzo's fist as it flew towards his face. He pretended to sigh in exasperation, saying, "Don't even bother. I know ya want it." Despite Sanzo trying to wrestle his arm out of his grip, Gojyo positioned himself for entry and pushed in. He sucked in air through his teeth at the tightness of it.

Sanzo felt himself being stretched even more, but he was completely slick with cum and lube and so it didn't hurt at all. His whole body twitched as Gojyo situated himself as deep as he dared to go.

"Bastard!" Sanzo half-moaned, half growled. Gojyo was bigger inside him, so everything he had felt with Hakkai was multiplied. The situation was incredibly difficult already... he couldn't handle this. Or so he thought.

Gojyo soon had him making begrudgingly undisguised moans, like he didn't want it but liked it anyway. Hearing this, Gojyo sighed, "Shit," in amazement.

Hakkai watched them with only slight interest. His half-closed eyes recorded everything, however; this was something he wanted to remember. It was a rare time that he ever saw them working together for anything besides battle. Sanzo met each of Gojyo's thrusts, and Gojyo kept giving Sanzo more in return. It was  _reciprocal_.

As Gojyo felt himself getting close he grasped Sanzo's narrow hips and dragged them into the air, partially bending Sanzo in half, and fucked him harder. The response he got was a very enthusiastic (for Sanzo) groan, and Sanzo grabbed the bedcovers in tight fists. After a minute that felt like forever Gojyo released inside, using his strain-tightened arms to bring Sanzo's hips back and forth to ride out his orgasm. "Ughnhnnhnn," Gojyo grunted. "Fuck yeah!"

Gojyo soon joined Hakkai and Sanzo lying on the bed, facing them both. His shit-eating grin said it all.


End file.
